Housemate from Hell - Part 1

I was just over at Kellyanaspana (another super spunky Aussie lass) and she'd mentioned she was a massive Bon Jovi fan... also that she'd been singing the wrong lyrics to her fav track since 1986 - ummmm embarrassing!  (haha... just kidding girlfriend - although I'm quite sure I've never once uttered wrong lyrics, I can sympathise - I kidd, I kidd!  Well, sort of!).

Anywanker... It bought back some memories that I'd repressed to the very far away recesses of my mind.  The story of a housemate... a housemate from hell (Hi Tim, you tosser, if you're reading this! - just so he knows who I'm refering to.)

It was the late 90s and therefore I was dating 'Late 90s' (who you may recall from such stories as 'Worst Gift EVER!)   Late 90s had moved out of home and in with Tim (yes... it is his real name).  I started staying over regularly - well actually, I kind of just moved in.  I'm sure this put Tim out a little - knowing Late 90s, he wouldn't have brought up the topic with Tim. 

Thing Tim did to shit me:

Everytime I'd have a shower, he'd seemed to place himself right outside and would light up.  At the time I was soooo not a smoker.  The smell revolted me!  The fact that I'd be showering and getting all nice, fresh and clean, then getting soaked with smoke, made me feel a little physically sick.  Eewwwww! 

Tim was all round not my kind of bloke.  He was a pansy - the kind that talks themselves up big time (a bullshitting pansy - the worst kind).  He was also obsessed with a girl I went to school with - she was a very attractive girl and I never understood what she saw in him - even more  so after I accidently walked in on him just after he'd gotten out of the shower!  He was skinny, very pale and looked a little like Monty Burns nuded up... ewwwww!  So, the hot tottie and Tim had previously dated, but eventually she'd moved onto someone who had a set of testi's.  They were still friends and would go out from time to time.

One such Friday night (I was working early on the Saturday) he arrived home after one such 'friends date'.  He was crying like a little bitch.  He sat up in the lounge room, directly across from my room, and cranked some lame Jon Bon Jovi song - a terrible ballad.  He picked up his guitar and played and sang along - and by 'sing', I mean whine, howl and wail - inbetween sobs - until around 7am the next morning (about 10 minutes before I had to get up for work).   All night I wanted to go out there and scream 'Harden the fuck up bitch!' - but I didn't.  I wasn't an 'official' housemate (maybe I was... I was also my own kind of whiny little bitch back then).

Let it be said, he moved out not long after (although long enough for me to witness 'hot stuff' sneaking across the lawn, half dressed in the wee hours of the morn). I don't really remember the circumstances of the move...  I have a feeling they weren't all sunshine, unicorns and rainbows.

Housemate from hell?   Yeah... Although in this case, the housemate from hell was more likely freeloading me!