Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Lifes little lessons

My darling Jandy did a beautiful post on lessons she's learnt throughout her life... I even got a mention - thanks lover!

Got me to thinking... What are some lessons I've learnt the hard way?  What would I pass on to people to help them avoid some of the embarrassing situations I've found myself in?

So here are '10 of lifes little lessons'... with a Karls twist;

1.  Jumpsuits (a) - while they look kickarse, most require a visit with the Mother-in-law's sewing room in order to actually get into them.  Might be my huge cans?  They just seem never to have enough room to get both my tits and my arms in.  Lesson?  Adjust before you wear - or you could find yourself in a toilet for over half an hour trying to work out how you got yourself in the bloody thing before you hit the town!

2. Jumpsuits (b) (yeah - I love jumpsuits) - always check that your not actually sitting on part of your outfit when you take a wee after 2 bottle of champas.  It's disasterous and quite difficult to explain why your back is saturated and perhaps a little on the pongy side!

3. A sanitary pad does not replace a trip to the toilet - it's not a nappy people!

4. Keep mouth shut when your dog sniffs another dogs privates - elderly women do not appreciate 'Dog 69er' jokes.

5. Wear sunscreen... Not only does it help combat premature aging, but it also hinders a brazen red and white cleavage... and lets face it, nobody likes a lobster - unless they make a fabulous frozen Cosmo.

6. On special occassions - you should really attend to those outta control 'koala ears' prior to flashing your box at people.  While you might find koala's soft and cuddly - the reality is they are generally quite scary and aggressive animals with chlamydia.

7. A jumbo bag of white choc raspberry bullets does not make menstrual pain go away... it does, however, make your jaw feel like you've been gutsed on the disco biccies at a 2 week long rave.  You'd think I learn - but I do it ev.ery. month!

8. Test the waters when meeting new people.  Hold back - at least for 5-10 minutes. Keep in mind that some people aren't quite sure how to take stories about shitting yourself in public.

9. Who am I kidding?  Jump right in... if you're not a nasty bitch and what you're saying isn't going to hurt anyone's feelings, don't feel you have to apologise for or hinder your outlandish behavoir.  Go for it!

10. Sometimes less is more... prime example; this post!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Afgan Womens Writing Project

A fabulous blogger and rad fellow Aussie has taken on a mammoth task to raise awareness and funds for the Afgan Womens Writing Project. 

She's a yo-yo exerciser and is working up to running 5k's non-stop on January 8th.  This is no small feat for the very busy Sharni! 
She's up against quite a few obstacles...
Finding time, overcoming the urge to lie around under a fan, injury, raging dry heat, rain followed by humidity, locusts and dirty gross flies, and wind... oh the wind (not of the arse variety - but you never know) - just to name a few.

Now, not only does she have a huge heart... She is also a total hottie... A fabulous mother... A talented writer with a heart of gold... 
And when she gets a bee in her bonnet, she's like a friggin bull in a china shop (well... a little more focused than that - but I think you get the point I'm trying to get across - if not, she's relentless in her quest).

I suggest (well actually, it's more of an order than a suggestion!) you get your fine arses over to and pledge your support... if you can't spare the cashola (which is a reality for many around this time of year) the least you can do is help to spread the word (and it doesn't cost you a cent).

It's a very worthwhile cause... so what are you waiting for? 

Friday, December 3, 2010

Woofmas Spirit

Getting into the Christmas spirit!  Today I bought a little tree and decorated it.  Micko and I have spent 7 Christmas' together and we've not once had a tree - ahhh the benefits of moving around so much.  Thought we'd get into the spirit this year.

So... to kick start the first weekend of December I thought I'd kick it up a notch.

Decided it's my work Christmas party tonight...
Last minute and very easy considering it's just me and Billy here (and Micko - he can be counted as an employee with all his recent hard work renovating the studio)!

Celebrating with some ginger beer beer (like beer with ginger beer - Bluetongue - it's good shit actually!)

Billy all dolled up and ready to party...

We are both wearing matching outfits so you should be super grateful it's just the two of based in my studio!


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