Karma's a bitch?

Jack's Photography - Check it out! Awesome! 

Micko's Mum celebrated her 70th birthday this weekend... We took an early mark Friday arv and headed up to prepare for the party.  Jude was stoked... She was surrounded by friends while we prepared, cooked and served them plate after plate of food, making sure the grog was flowing.  She had an absolute ball!


Billy got to meet Piper, Ned and Gidget for the first time... While it was love at first sight with Piper, for poor old Neddy it was a harrowing experience!  Billy jumped up to say G'day and Ned fell back into one of the chairs that didn't have it's seat cover on... Thump!  He fell straight through and along with some scratches on his back, came a scar that might take a little longer to heal (lets just say it might take him some time to warm completely to Bill).


We had a great weekend!  It's always awesome to spend quality time with Micko's family... Jack and Lu are awesome cooks so the food is always more than wonderful.  Not to mention, the beers, wine and champas are always flowing - as is the conversation!


Sunday arvo, we packed up to head off...  As we headed towards Grafton, we noticed a sign that said Pacific Hwy closed at Valla due to an accident.   We were still an hour and a half away so didn't take too much notice.  Once we reached Coffs, in the first of a string of what would prove a perfect blend of good luck and coincidence, we past the last petrol station on our side of the road... We were almost on empty and really needed to fill up.  I said to Micko, since we'd accidently passed the fuel stop, that perhaps it would be a good opportunity for us to head down to the jetty and get some Cold Rock (I've never had it before and had been talking with Micko's sister Lu about it during the weekend).  There is a petrol station on the way back up to the highway so we could fill up there.


We then headed the long way back to the highway, drove through Urunga and noticed another sign that said the Pac Hwy was closed... Traffic seemed to be flowing both ways, so onwards bound.  All of a sudden we see cars coming towards us flashing their lights... Uh Oh!  We slow down and come to a stop behind the k's of traffic at a standstill.  Just as we do, a guy drives past, slows down and lets us know there is a minimum 4 hour wait!  Micko and I look at each other and in unison say 'Faaaark orf!'  And in one stroke of good fortune, we hear an older woman yell out, ' We know a short cut, follow us', as they quickly turned off down what looks like a driveway.


We wind on down this dirt and gravel road, follow this man who is driving his Ford like he's in some kind of off road rally.  The dust is flying up in front of us, like a thick fog in the middle of winter and we can all but see 10 metres in front of us.  Oblivious to our plight, as he was in front and the dust that swirled around encompassing us in a blanket of white dirt was not an issue, he forged on rapidly.... Leaving us chasing behind him, not knowing where we were going or what bumps and dips lay ahead on the road, but merely following the trail of dirt plumes.


CRUUUUCNH!!!!  The car bottoms out and lets out a massive, chringe worthy grinding, crunching, scratching kind of sound - the exact sound you don't want to hear while in the middle of nowhere with zero phone coverage and a bunch of cars following you.  I felt my entire body tense up... similar to when I'm in a car with speeding, tailgating girlfriend.  Micko says, 'Don't worry... Things that hit the bottom of the car always sound worse than they are'.  And I'm thinking, you know he's right!  It's not the first time I've heard the car bottom out like that.  But, each time we accelerate the car makes this very strange vibrating, weird sound - like the muffler has fallen off and is scraping along the ground.  I start to picture us broken down, quite literally in the middle of nowhere, blocking the road for all the people following us... No phone service to call NRMA and no place for the people behind us, or heading towards us, to turn around.


Then we all come to an abrupt halt... There, on this barely driveway width road, is a massive four wheeler with a bloody huge boat attached to the back.  Hmmmm... This could be interesting!  We all start to pull off into the bush to try to let him though.  Micko takes the opportunity to jump out and check the belly of the car - nothing dangling so we'll worry about it later.  After around 10 minutes, the guys work out a way and we all safely squeeze past the man and the boat (and the 10 to 20 cars behind him).


So, we press on, chasing the retired rally car driver through the bends, bumps, dips and dirt until we reach the highway - then homeward bound!  I'd really love to buy that poor bastard a beer to thank him.  He actually lives in Valla and couldn't have made it home with the traffic at a stand still but took us through regardless - what a champ!


Oh and on the car front... All seems fine!  Although the shitbomb does make a weird sound when accelerating up hills.  I'm seriously considering upgrading for the long journey down to Melbs for Chrissy.  My old wagon has seen much better days!  She goes though and I'll be quite heartbroken when you leaves me for junkyard heaven.


When we arrive home, crack open a beer and light a durrie, Micko and I talk about the endless coincidences and stroke of luck that got us through... Had we not left Lennox at that time, nearly run out of fuel, missed the last petrol station then taken a detour for a Cold Rock stop, driven the long way round and reached the stand still traffic at that exact moment, we could have been:  1. In the accident!  or 2.  Still sitting on the highway, with Billy in the back and me busting for a shit.


Sometimes the universe works exactly the way it should... and in those times Micko and I like to thank our lucky stars!  Karma is a bitch, but she can also show you the way home...

Weekends are for F.U.N!

Billy and his new best friend Zac

Had a really great weekend!  Friday night, Micko and I had a few drinks, he cooked up prawns wrapped in prosciutto on the barbie for me and we watched Foo Fighters... woke up Sat morn, took Billy for a walk then headed into Coffs to do a spot of shopping.  Dropped into my favourite antique shop and picked out a table for the spare room - it's awesome!  Also, bought myself a new watch.  I've been wanting a watch for ages, haven't had one for the past 3 or 4 years.  Still need to work on breaking the 'what time is it' habit.  On the way home we grabbed a couple of DVD's, had a few frozen Cosmo's and some shitty food.

I'm a shit pick when it comes to selecting a great movie!  I always end up with the dodgy one of the bunch.  This time I chose Synecdoche, New York, a Charlie Kaufman film starring Phillip Seymour Hoffman.  Bit full on for a relaxed Sat night, but I did kind of enjoy it.  Ever since studying film theory at Uni, I hardly ever enjoy watching an art house flick - I think all the 'juxtaposition' talk switched something important in my brain off so I didn't have to listen to wankerspeak anymore.

But I digress... the film was enjoyable and from what I understand, is primarily about interconnectivity.  That we are all the same, we share the same experiences, feel the same emotions and although we are individuals, we kind of morph in and out of one another.  I guess, what I'm trying to say is that the basis of our lives are all the same... We are born, we live, we learn, we die - and during this time, we all feel sadness, loneliness, happiness and love.  There really isn't a great deal that makes you different to anyone else walking around the planet - expect for experience and perspective.  Woah man... that was deep!  After watching it, Micko and I discussed what kind of creative nutbag/total unit you would have to be to come up with the basis for the film.

Sunday we headed up to see some mates, C&V, that live at Arrawarra.  Watched the NRL GF at one of their friends places... Ate like Kings, drank like fish!  C&V have a daughter, Georgia (very cute kid) and a Zac (staffie x black lab).  Billy and Zac are totally best friends now!  Billy was sooooo buggered from playing with Zac from 4 till around midnight, he did nothing but sleep and laze around yesterday - thankfully cause that's all we felt like doing too!

Woke up Monday a little worse for wear...  When I'm a little fragile, I cant. stop. eating!  We made a Hungry Jacks pitstop for a double bacon cheeseburger deluxe meal (oh yeah 60+ grams of fat).  Then I hoed into a bunch of little boys (you know those little footy francs that are all pigs foot and arse)... Followed by some crispy noodle salad (at least I got one vegetable in) and a couple of caramel crunch ice creams... Oh yeah, and I drank about 2 litres of Mountain Dew.  Fuck me!  That sounds seriously disgusting!  I feel dirty!  I feel dirty!  My stomach was actually hurting from not just the quality of the food, but certainly the quantity!  I gotta stop doing that to myself!  Thankfully, it's only part of the nasty hangover territory so doesn't happen all that often.

So, I guess in a nutshell I had a fucken rad long weekend!  But I will be working hard at gym (already did some serious sweating at boxing this morning, I'm about to go for a walk with Bill and I've got Boot Camp tonight)... Now, I just need a week of detox to recover!  Unfortunately, me and detox go together like a hangover and no junk food - never going to happen!

Kip and Nip

Funny thing... had to share!

This morning we were a little hungover from last night beers, ciggies and the quality time spent with Dave Grohl - unfortunately, he wasn't here... but my TV is so friggin big it feels like he was!   Billy came in for a morning cuddle and a bit more sleep - was a late one for the little fella. 

It was pretty warm last night, so Micko slept on top of the doona.  Bill is a real little licker... he loves to lick hands, feet, legs and face.  So while we are showering him with cuddles and pats, he is licking away like a mad man.  Then... he gives Micko's nipple a lick, followed closely by a front tooth nibble.  Ouch!  Glad it wasn't me!  We both cracked up laughing.  I'm not sure whether it was Billy or Micko who felt more violated.

Keep your whites shite...

Just wanted to paint a picture of something absolutely adorable I saw the day the dust flew into town .

I was driving to the beach to walk young Billy... The windows were all up, except for Billy's - he likes to look out the window as we drive... the dirt flying around outside was so thick you could taste it and feel the grit building up between your teeth, the escaped remnants slowly entering your lungs and filling your nostrils (felt like I was at Melbourne BDO at Flemington with the dust and tumbleweed blowing around - you just know you'll be blowing black snot for days).

We wind down the hill passing a bunch of cream and light pastel coloured houses (yes, I live in a town which could be classed as a large retirement village)... The front of which have turned red from the dust, whilst the sides remain clean as a whistle... the contrast was unbelievable.

Driving past the Bowls Club, there are a bunch of primarily elderly men , enjoying their Wednesday arvo game... to be followed by a couple of ice cold Schooners of XXXX Gold.  From head to toe they are covered in the crisp whites, that their cute elderly wives washed with tender loving care, a cup of surf, a little sunlight and a sprinkle Napisan to keep the whites at their optimum whiteness.

The men's backs faced the road as they crouched down to focus then bowl... as the wind blew in from the norwest, the back of their whites had all turned a lovely shade of reddy brown.  However, as they turned to face their fellow bowlers to gloat or mope, they'd expose their fronts to reveal the white crispness Maude, Doris, Joyce, June and Patty had worked so hard each Thursday morning to maintain.

I smiled to myself and drove on.

Up shit creek

Another adventure during Dale & Kat's visit was a boat outing we took on the Sunday.  It was something Micko and I had wanted to do since we moved here, but hadn't gotten around to yet.

Judging by our previous experiences with the canoe, while living in Bruns, I really should have thought harder about taking out a boat.  When I say that I really should give you a brief run down...

Some good friends of ours gave us a canoe to use while we lived in our rad pad on the Brunswick River.  They had just had a baby and had no use for it.  Most weekends, I'd take the canoe out for a couple of hours... I loved it so much!  I'm not a big 'relaxer', I like to be on the go, at least doing something.  Canoeing became an outlet for me.  There is some kind of comfort I get from being on the water... floating along, taking in the passing landscapes.  One such day, I decided to take Micko out in the canoe with me.  Not the most pleasant experience... Lets just say Micko is a strong character and has his way of doing things... As do I!  Sometimes our ways differ and we butt heads.  This was one of those times!

So, I had some prior warning to what was to follow in the boating outing. But, hey... you gotta try these things.

Micko heads into the boat hire place and sorts out payment and the details of where you can and can't go with the lady.  We all pile into the boat and the old bastard says, 'Right, so who'll be driving?', Micko and my bro, in unison, say 'Karly'.  The old guy looks me up and down, mumbles to himself, then says 'Don't you think perhaps it would be best to have a bloke in the back?  I reakon it's a bit tough to start if you're a sheila'.  What the?  Is this guy fucking serious?  Did he magically transport himself from the early 20th century to stand before me?  I find myself just looking at him with bewilderment spread all over my face.  I really wanted to say, 'I'm pretty sure I can pull a fucken cord!  You might be surprised but, I've started a lawn mower before and even mown the lawns!'    But, I didn't... I just stared at the guy with contempt while my brother fought my battle.... 'She's a gym junkie and has driven heaps of boats'.  Thank you Dale!

Of course, now I'm mad and unfocused... I've also not driven a tinny in quite sometime, so I was a little all over the shop to start.  Took me a couple of minutes to get used to moving the motor the opposite way to where I wanted to go.  Didn't help that I was frazzled... Plus had Micko in the front yelling which way I should go.

At gym, I did my rotator cuff sometime ago.  Besides boxing, I've been quite kind to it since and I really haven't done my weights work in the past 8 months or so - my guns look more like plumbers piping at the moment.  Driving the boat was niggling away at the prior injury... the vibration on the motor on my arm, which was basically placed behind me, was doing me no good at all.  Micko yelling at me like I was partly deaf and a six pack short of slab, was also doing me not good... at all!  A combination of my short fuse, inability to be told what to do, the sexist prick and rotator cuff niggling pain bought it all to an abrupt head.  I snapped, "Fuck this!  Someone else drive the fucking boat', and handed the reigns over to my bro.

We stopped at a beach along the riverbank and drove the boat in.  It was a beautiful spot and seeing dolphins swimmingly past eased my frayed nerves.  Billy was loving it!  Swimming out to grab a stick, almost as big as he, and dragging it back in for us to throw back out.  Watching the houseboats bob along the river... The other boats passing by... Soaking in the sun, then taking cover in the shade... Wading in the water... And all round having a relaxing time.  Then it came time to brave the boat again.

This time Dale was skipper... Only problem was that he'd keep starting the boat in gear.  This was making me nervous.  I was yelling at Dale that he needed to have the engine in neutral before starting it... At the same time Micko was trying to tell Dale which direction to go... Then Dale snapped.  The rest of the trip back was pretty quiet. Everybody looking out of the boat, not willing to look at each other.  We were all on edge and really just wanted to back on dry land, have a beer and forget about our boating ordeal.

As we pulled up back at the boat house, Dale tried to stop the engine (by hitting the red button) it wouldn't work - but I didn't realise this yet.  So we all start screaming and yelling (actually it was mainly me)... Then I tell Dale to move out of the way.  I jump in and put the engine into neutral, to try to turn the boat around.  Then I hit the red button, it does nothing... I push on it again... nothing.  Then I start looking at the button, more than where we are headed.  I'm pushing the button again and again, but the engine won't stop.  Everyone in the boat is yelling at me now, 'Look where you're going', and I'm yelling back 'I can't stop the fucking boat'.  The sexist old prick comes out just as 'cruuuunch', I drive into the rocks.  Just then, with another hard punch at the fucking red button, the boat stops.  The old prick says 'use the oars... if it wasn't for you boys, you'd be out in the ocean right now'... Ooooooooh!  You've gotta be fucking joking me!  I grab my shit and stumble out of the boat with a big scowl on my face.

Micko goes to deal with the woman inside and I march over with Billy to the car.  I was ropable!  We all jump in the car, sat in relative silence... all just wanting to get home as quick as possible.

Then someone splurts out, 'Well that was fun!'.  With that, we piss ourselves laughing and head straight home for some emergency beers and plenty of banter about the boat, the bastard... and the bitch (being me).