Saturday, October 31, 2009


A new Cadbury ad, recently started to air throughout Australia.   Its very cute - who doesn't like to see a bunch of smiling, happy dogs with their face hanging out of a window.

Having a background in writing copy (ads for radio) makes me senstive to advertising.  Although sometimes I'm impressed by an ad, if I can't remember what the product was at the end of it, its fucking useless.  There are so many totally self indulgent creative ads out there, that do absolutely nothing for the product.  Whilst they may be funny, entertaining, or amazingly shot - advertising is there for one reason and one reason alone.  To build brand and sell product.

Having said that Cadbury are one of those few companies that can afford to be a little self indulgent.. they've built their brand... it's solid and a favourite, so their ads don't have to sell the product, just remind us of it.  And using their trademark purple makes their ads instantly recognisable.

Have a watch and see if you find anything strange or truly ridiculous about this ad...

Ummmmm... Hey self indulgent, creative wanker - Dogs can't eat chocolate!  

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Jimmy speaks in the third person...

Was watching Seinfeld re-runs the other day... and it was the 'Jimmy' episode. 

If you need a re-cap - check it out... fucking hilarious!

Well anyway... It reminded me of a guy I used to date.  Now, I won't mention his name... but those who were close to me at the time will remember this guy.  For the stories sake, we'll call him 'Jimmy'.

Jimmy and I met at Oaks Day many moons ago (the Ladies Day of the Melbourne Spring Racing Carnival).  Oaks is a vertible smorgasboard of fine women... and the pickings aren't slim.  The odds would be 1:1 that if you own a penis, you will get some action (perhaps even if you lack the neccessary tackle you'll probably still get a pash).  Needless to say, 'Ladies Day', has grown into like 'Men Looking for a Root' Day.  As a single, fine piece of arse there was no better place to be!

I do have a few pics of that day... but I don't want to incriminate anyone... plus I don't really want you to see my fucken terrible outfit!  Like I said it was many moons ago... back when jeans and a tshirt were suitable attire for a social engagement - like a 21st, engagement and definitely a night club.

We all met at a mates place beforehand for a few quiet beers.  When Jimmy arrived, I was physically immediately attracted to him... He was a very good looking guy.  Arriving at the races, we all went our seperate ways, but I hoped we'd bump into each at some point.

Once the last race had run... we bumped into them and all headed to the pub.  I worked hard to keep his attention and it worked...we hooked up.

We ended up dating for around 18 months... but the more I actually got to know him, the more I realised he wasn't the guy for me.  Now don't get me wrong... he was one the kindest and most generous people I've met. Not to mention, he was damn hot!  Truly a lovely guy, inside and out, with a very sweet heart, but so not right for me.

How can that be?  Well, he kind of embarrassed me (and I'm ashamed to admit that).  He constantly talked about himself in true Jimmy style... "Jimmy wants seconds", "Jimmy was ripping"... you get the idea.  He was a surfer and I don't really like surfer speak.  I would cringe when he'd say things like "The surf was pumping... Epic man.. Jimmy thinks it was all time".  Although, he did look remarkably good all salty and sandy.

What else?  Well, he had the fuckest dance moves I've ever seen... They involved him pretending he was on a bodyboard, doing rolls and shit.  And while my mates would laugh at them, I'd feel the blood start running to my face and I'd have to hide.  He might of been super hot, but dance moves like that should be fucking outlawed!

Surely bad dancing doesn't constitute a break up if he treats you well and is fine?  Well, it kind of does in my books.  The vibe just wasn't there... I figured out it was all initial sexual attraction, followed up by not much else. 

Other defining points: 

1. He took more time to get ready than me - including apply foundation
2. He was a Two Can Sam - if he drank at all
3. We lived pretty much completely seperate lives - only seeing each other every other weekend
4. He booked a romantic Valentines dinner at an awesome restaurant... when I showed up, his Mum was sitting at the table with him. He'd invited her along and neglected to tell me.
5. He was a walk over and allowed me to treat him like shit - I'm even more embarrassed to admit that!
So I'm going to wrap this baby up....

After the 'its not you, it's me' talk, Karls put Jimmy on the ferry and Jimmy disappeared out of her life never to be seen or heard of again.  Karls just hopes he is as happy as she is... oh and that he's worked on some better moves!

Sex Gods!

Micko and I were discussing Sarah Silverman... Micko thinks she is a female replica of Dave Grohl... while I don't agree entirely, they do both share an air of sexual charisma.  And it's highly unlikely if either of them were to turn up on my doorstep asking me for sexual relations I'd have the strength to say no.

So here are some random clips of those I find utterly irrestible!

Josh Homme: Mmmmmm! Delicious... love those 'fuck you' eyes!

Dave Grohl: Dopey kind of face (oh yeah I'm a fan)... hair, hair and more hair... great moves... funny guy... kicks arse at guitar and drums... Ahhhhh 'My Hero'

The White Stripes - yeah, I'd go both of them, ménage-à-trois style all the way. He's got so much junk in his trunk (I could tell - in fact we all could tell - kind of hard not to notice) and she is smoking!

Paul Rudd: He's funny... he's adorable... it's love!

Micko: He's a ranga... He cooks me dinner... He looks after me... He laughs at my jokes... He's funny and honest and a total hottie!Oh and he's mine! So suffer in ya jocks!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Loneliness & Isolation

“It is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely.”  Albert Einstein

Throughout this blog, I've mentioned friends, family and moving to Nambucca, but what I haven't really touched on, in too much depth, is the isolation I've felt at times.

I've moved around a bit and for the most part I've not had any problems making friends. However, most of them, if not all of them, have been made either through work or through other friends. This time, and during the move back to Vic, I've been self employed and working pretty much solely from home. Making it difficult to get out their and find people I click with.

Too many of my friends and acquaintances I seem outgoing and confident... but I'm actually kind of shy - well I won't approach someone, say ‘Hi’ and strike up a conversation... this needs to be built over time. Or, there needs to be some kind of introduction made prior.

We have been here for 6 months and the only contact I have with anyone local is at the beach (a brief chat while walking the dog) or at the gym (and mostly no one in my age group). It's also much harder to make friends when your my age, in a country town, without children - there aren't many childless couples at my age in regional areas. Being coastal, warm and beautiful also makes it a big retirement settlement - now I might be grey and aging, but I'm far from elderly!

At first, I found this really scary and seriously felt isolated... but when I've needed some social activity, Micko, Billy and I have packed up the car and headed up to Byron. I've no shortage of great people in my life but, unfortunately, they are all either a 3-20 hour drive away. Being married to your best friend is also a great comfort – we actually enjoy spending time together and have lots of fun with just the two of us (and of course, my lovely furry baby Billy)... At some point though, especially when you are as social as I am, you need interaction with others and the phone just doesn’t do it.

I tend not to let friends know how isolated I feel... I don't need people needlessly worrying about me - I'd rather people use their energy on something bigger than me being a little lonely from time to time. I also don't really need to hear answers to the questions, I already know myself. So, when I feel down, I constantly try my hardest to put things into perspective. You know, like things are bad for me right now, but they could be a whole lot worse...then I try to see a positive in the situation. And in this particular scenario it’s easy - it will happen, I just need to give it time.

And it seems that time has come... This past weekend, something changed! One of Micko's Mums friends lives not far from us (like walking distance). They were the next door neighbours of Micko's grandparents and he would spend holidays playing with their kids. I'd been hassling the fuck out of him to make contact... and this weekend, he finally bit the bullet and gave them a buzz.

We headed around their place for an impromptu visit on Saturday arvo (after Micko won $130 on the Cox Plate) for a couple of quiet beers. The only reason we left, was poor old Billy was outside in the dark and was probably freaking out. We could have stayed up till all hours drinking and chatting madly away. Both of us had a great time! D&W are really great people and I'm really looking forward to spending more time with them. In fact, D is coming over for a lunch date today! I'm thinking of having Chicken Thai Green Curry toasted Roti wraps.... might go pick up some banana cake too.

At least now, once the pergola and back deck are done, there is the potential to actually entertain some real life people (other than ourselves) in our super rad backyard!  Besides, the rain has departed and the sun is finally breaking through.. how could you feel sorry for yourself on a day like today!  And In the wise words of the great Paul Kelly:  Roll on, summer, roll on!

Monday, October 26, 2009

The rains are 'ere!

Photo does no justice to the sheer torrents of rain pissing down all day, but meh!

When Micko and I first moved to Nambucca, we'd arrived from dry, dead, drought ridden Victoria with dreams of the heavy rains we'd missed so much.   Sometimes there is nothing better than hearing the rains pitter patter on the rooftop... and you continue to have this romantic view of rain until it's beating solidly on your roof for 24 hours straight and its so loud that no matter how loud you turn up the TV's volume, you still can't hear the bloody thing!  After 3 serious floods in as many months, we were a little over the rain.  Since though, it's not really rained at all! 

Then today... the heavens opened up and turned the hose up to torrential.  Like they say... "It never rains, it pours"... and ain't that the truth! 

And while I'm on the topic of good old sayings... its certainly 'great weather for ducks'...

However, it's shithouse weather for a Voice Over Artist, with a shitload of work to record, in a studio with a tin roof!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Spring in the 'Bucc's

My back yard is pretty fucking rad!  I remember the first time I came to look at the place - actually the only time pre-purchase (we found the house on the net and it was about 1600k's from where we were living but hey, I'll blog on that later) I felt instantly calm in the backyard... really relaxed!  The visitors we've had have all said the same thing... there really is nothing better than looking out your kitchen and sun room windows to see this:

Spring brings flowering Jacaranda... Grafton actually dedicate a 9 day festival to it and it's beautiful!  The streets are lined with bright purple flowers... lovely!

Right now, our big Jacaranda in the back yard is flowering and it looks sensational!  Unfortunately, it hasn't reached its potential yet... it had a massive climber (and when I say massive I mean this noxious weed had trunk like regular tree) attacking it and we've just pulled it out in the last month.  Next year should be even more amazing!

Now I can't wait for summer beers on the back deck with mates - if I can find some locally that would be even better! 

Random coat hanger for good measure...

And our next project? 

Definitley the pergola!  Needs some serious work! 

Roof needs replacing... need to re-do the fencing... lots of potential, not enough funds... booo!

Oh did you notice the totally rad stairs?  Here is a closer look:

The plain is to do a rad art deco inspired mosaic... along with the built in table inside the pergola.

So much to do, so little time! 

Time to shower... my boobs are uncomfortably sitting around my waist at present.  And I smell like a homeless drunk whose done a marathon! 

Friday, October 23, 2009

Pizza Friday

Another Friday night and on the agenda?  Beers and Pizza!

I mentioned I'd had a fabulous gourmet pizza (something Nambucca lacks) last Sunday.  It was the Greek Mezze Plate and it was de-lish-us!  We decided to go back and try it for our first pizza and booze night since our last disasterous experience - cheap and nasty.

Shouldn't have bothered!

DIS-A-POINT-ING!  To the max!

Pizza?  More like thick, disgusting toasted cheese of the open sanga variety (and I don't mean that as my usual crude toasted sandwich joke).  The cheese was so thick, it was impossible to taste anything else.  It was also so soggy I was worried the pizza might fall through the bottom of the box - due to its super oily nature.

Now I don't mind paying good money for a pizza.  I'm also no stranger to expensive pizza - I lived in Byron for years and nothing comes cheap there.  Our favourite pizza place in Bruns was called 'Sticky Fingers' and it was the shit!  Best pizza EVER!

Anyways... We ended up paying $50 for 2 pizzas and we were both very unimpressed!  We could have eaten better at Pizza Hut or Domino's and would have saved ourselves $30 (almost a case of beer or a decent bottle of bubbles).  As we tried to squeeze some beer on top of the disgusting mess floating around in our stomachs... we discussed all that we could have bought with that pineapple we call a $50 note.  A kilo of big, fat, fresh straight from the trawler King Prawns, plus 2 dozen local oysters!  Bummer!  If only, as Cher said in her bondage gear while straddling a canon, you could turn back time.

Unimpressed to say the least!  Micko rang to voice his disappointment (in a nice way of course) but got a friggin answering machine.  To his credit, not theirs, he did leave a message.

My stomach is so heavy and full of cheese I've hardly enough room to fit any beers... but I'll give my best shot!

Have a good weekend!

Here is a parting thought... or image!


Pet Hates - Racism - The Lucky Country?

This blog has been brewing up inside me for the longest time.. It was the title of probably the 3rd blog entry I wrote, but I just couldn't get around to finishing it.  I needed inspiration... It came last night, in the form of a TV program...

Last night I watched the Aussie version of 'The Secret Millionaire' *** Narrated (something a Voice Over like myself does) by fellow Mid North Coaster, the one and only - my mate, good ol' Rusty (Russell Crowe).  Disclaimer:  I don't actually 'know' Rusty, but hey, we're share the same part of paradise... and we both do Voice Overs, so like I'm sure if we met we'd totally be best mates! ***   As always, it was a touching story of someone who is super weathly, giving back to a community in need... and in return, gaining some much needed perspective on life.

One of the stories was based around these two lovely old Nun's (I think they were Nuns anyway... They were called 'sister so and so'... does that make them Nuns?) who were working with newly arrived refugee's.  They ran language and cultural classes and provided them with everyday essentials - like food, bedding and so on. 

They were very sweet and obviously had devoted their lives to helping others but there was one comment that stood out... It went something along the lines of... 'Most Australians wouldn't know what to say if they saw a black person.  They should do the Australian thing, and just say 'G'day.'

Huh?  Most people wouldn't know what to say to a black person?  What on earth do you mean?  Hopefully that only extends to those over 80!  Hello?  We are a country based on immigration... yet, we are one of the most racist countries on the face of this earth!  (oh and I can feel your blood starting to boil already - 'Rascist?  As if?' I can hear you thinking)

Case No. 1:

A while back, you Aussies may remember, Sol Trujillo (Telstra's ex CEO) made a statement about our 'lucky country' on his return to the US.  The comment was then taken completely out of context, paraphrased and summarised by those in the media as Australia is 'racist and backwards'... regardless of whether those words, said in that way and particular order, passed his lips, he was completely entitled to have that opinion. The aftermath of those 'comments' was proof beyond belief that we are one fucked up nation of halfwits and racists.

Here is what Neil Mitchell, a very popular talk back announcer on 3AW in Melbourne said following the event:

"Sol Trujillo, the ahhh, the Mexican bandit, he thinks we're racist, we're backward... pretty ordinary old country.  It was all he could do, to take $35 million out of us as he left the country"

What the fuck?  Are you serious?  Talk about a self fullfilling statement!  The 'Mexican bandit'?  Surely you can't be serious!  The guy just called us racist and backward and your response is to refer to him as a Mexican bandit?  Case in point, me friends, case in point!

I know there are some out there who argued, 'well the guy took $35 million from us and drove Telstra into the ground'... Well, does that have anything to do with the fact that he is not 'Australian'?

Case No. 2:

It was summer in Melbourne... I'd been out with some friends for a few cold ones.  I took a cab ride home with a very open minded girlfriend - the kind that you can have really deep and intellectual conversations with (this doesn't happen often with me so it's good to have someone who appreciates an off load every now and then) and an Indian Taxi Driver.  On this particular occassion we were discussing racism.  She was of the impression that we had really moved forward as a nation and that. although there were still a few mindless fuckheads out there, for the most part we were a happy, peaceful and accepting people.

I, however, was under a very different impression.  After further discussion, I ask for the Taxi Drivers opinion.. he agreed.  "In my own country I was a Doctor.  I am a very well educated man.  And as if driving a taxi isn't degrading enough, I'm subjected to abuse by the public on a nightly basis.  But I grin and bear it and I think of my children.  I've done this for them. So they can have a better future in a safe and lucky country."

I think I might have even heard one or two think fleetingly... 'well if you're not happy here, go home'.  Are you seriously going to prove me right once again?

"Me?  I'm not a racist?"...    Really?  Have you ever said, 'Why do these bloody Indians keep calling me at dinner... I can't even understand a word their saying!'?

Think about this for a moment before you crack the shits and hang up next time... These people are made of skin and bone, just like you and me.  The difference is, they live in a country where there are more homeless people than our entire poplulation - in fact in 2003 Action Aid estimated it to be more likely around the 78 million mark.   With no welfare system in place, very little shelters and no subsidised housing, would you do all that you could to feed and shelter yourself and your children?  I think the answer to that is bleedingly obvious!

I could go on and on and on... I could talk about how is it possible that today, Indigenous Australians lifespan is  20 years different from the rest of the population (source)... Why it took until 1984 (yes 1984!) for Indigenous Australians to have the same voting rights as the rest of the country (and by that I mean mandatory voting - like the rest of us - they were finally awarded the right to vote in all states and territories by 1965) - source   But I won't... I stop right here and give you something to think about...

Does the colour of your skin, or the language which you speak, really make you any different to anybody else... We all eat, drink, sleep... feel sadness, happiness, anger, fear... endure hardships, loss and love... and we all inhabit the same Earth.

I guess the difference really is, some of us also possess tolerance and understanding... and some of us don't!

**** Next blog entry won't be so heavy... I promise!

Oh and for the record - I love my country, and the people in it, I just think as a Nation we have a little more evolving to do!   We are the lucky country... and we are all lucky to be here!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Work to live?

If you were to ask me, 'What am I most proud of?'

I would have to say - starting and running my own business...

And before you freak out and say, 'Damn!  Now this bitch is going to get all 'work from home opportunity' on my arse'... relax!  No chance!

For those of you not in the know... I'm a Voice Over Artist. And for those not in the know of what it is a Voice Over actually does, I don't do voice porn and I don't answer sex line phone calls, but anything else you could use your voice for... I have done, or will do.  I have a little studio set up in my backyard (in a studio, not out in the elements) and there I toil day in day out to make a living and have fun doing it.

It all started while working in radio (if you haven't read that entry yet... I recommend you do before continuing)...

Welcome back, now that you're well versed in the joke that is regional radio, lets continue!  So, I was poor and being treated poorly.  I needed an out!  It was a matter of get off the ship, or go down with it and I'd lost too much of myself already in that abuseful relationship I called a job.  My options were:

a.  Start my own business and be homeless until it built up (hmmmmmm)
b. Go back to my old profession (photography) while I built up my business

Obviously, I chose .b.

Initially, it was going to be a writing based business... copywriting (hence, the name).  I'd planned to contact regional and major radio stations offering them freelance copywriting for their creative dept (or to replace their creative detp - if, indeed, they had one).  On the side, I would do voice overs, to supplement the writing.

My first gig writing was for this a-hole doing resumes for military dudes.  He said, it would be easy money... only take a couple of hours and you'd make $100 (or something like that).  Sweeeeet!   I'd give it a go!  So I did... The first one took me about 14 hours... then he sent it back and said it was nothing like what he would have written and to start again.    The hardest part of the gig was that they were all military terms and positions and I had no idea what they entailed... and none of the info he'd provided help me out in the least.  I wrote it down to experience... but I was working full time and I couldn't work for less than $10 an hour on of my measly earnings so I gave it the can.   At the end of the day, this dude was a bit like me... trying to branch out, but wanting the job done exactly how you would do it. Sometimes you need to learn to be less precious (I should write that down).

I continued to work full time and after hours trying to drum up some work.  Surprisingly, the voice over stuff started to trickle in, while the copywriting stuff was fairly stagnant - although I did pick up a gig writing on hold messages for brothels... niiiice!

After about 2 years of this half arsed attempt - well it wasn't so much half arsed, but I had commitments from 9-6 so I didn't have the time to devote - I decided to throw in the towel and turn my focus to making this work.  At the time, Micko was earning great money and we had planned to move to Vic.  The deal was, when we arrived, Micko would find work and I would give the business the attention it deserved.  Give it a crack for 12 months and see if I could make a real go of it.

I did... Business was slow at first, but I managed to secure a few ongoing clients. This continued to build and build... Every few clients starting giving me return work.  Then, as time went on I expanded to work with other talent.  And right now, it's booming.  So much so, I've not a lot of time for anything else.  I've just put on an editor to help lighten my load and I'm hoping like hell it works out! 

I really enjoy what I do... and I put my sucess down to a few key things:

a. knowing what I want and taking the steps towards getting there

b. working hard, being focused and commited plus a self confessed perfectionist

c. having the faith and confidence in myself (thank you Mum and Dad for constantly ramming down my throat 'You can be whatever you want to be' and 'We'll be proud as long as your following your dreams')

d. positive affirmation - wanky I know but even though it doesn't  hand to you on a platter the things you want (or perhaps it's my own perception that has created the hard work?), it does help you focus on what you want and therefore, help you to create an outline of how to get it

e. always meeting, and mostly exceeding, customers expectations and deadlines.

f.  anal, super anal, organisation - which I've had to learn (I wasn't at all organised throughout most of my 20s)

You see... My theory is that you can be, do and have what you want in life... It comes down to you - 100%!  If you have the focus and commitment, the sky is your limit!

Man, I sound like I'm writing a self help book - one of the those dreadful things I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole - I have in the past though and some of it must have rubbed off.  Hey, whatever works for you, do!

So, as you can see... I'm cool, have a wicked job that I love and life all round is pretty kickarse!

I can hear some of you thinking "Gee!  Up yourself much?'

Well... You know what!  I am!  I'm great at what I do and I've worked super hard to get where I am in life.  And if I want to take the glory, I fucken well will!  (PS that note was mostly for Aussies - we have trouble accepting that people might actually like  or be proud of themselves - it's called having a big head or suffering from 'head up your own arse syndrome'.  We also have a penchant for shitting on those who experience any kind of personal success).

Before you say 'cocky, arrogant bastard' and vow never to return... By no means, think that I don't have insecurities or dark days... I do, we all do! ( Ummmm... like anyone suffer from body issues? )   You have to know darkness to recognise the light.  And you have to work hard to learn to love yourself.  But like I've said before, I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses.. and if you know yourself, that's half the battle won.

But, I digress (yet again)...  I'm truly blessed to get joy from what I do.  I get a certain satisifaction from doing a job well and knowing I've done my very best.  And it's a pleasure to be able to have a beer on Friday night and contemplate how great my job, and my life, really is. 

Now, ask yourself this... If you could do, or be, whatever you wanted to be... What would be do (or be)?  Is it worth taking the steps towards it?  Or do you put it down to a pipe dream? 

You can do it!  You can be it!  Only thing that stands in your way is you... and before you say, "yeah, well it's  bills and debt and the cost of living that stands in my way?"... You think I didn't have those obsticles?  Balls in your court!

See, I'd do this gig, even if I was set up for life by a major lotto win... And that's loving what you do!  And I'm one awesome, super lucky (well hard working) mofo!

So, on that note... back to work!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Girlfriends... The Mangina

From left to right... Houghy, Me and Mangina - this was many, many moons ago - perhaps 2000/01?  Mands and I went up to Townsville to visit the Hough... rad time had by all! 

Sometimes your girlfriends are your saving grace.

Some stay with you for your entire life...  Others float in, leave an indelible impression and leave...  You lose touch with a few over the years, then when you do catch up it's like no time has passed... and others leave you with scars, after the painful 'girl break up' wounds heal.

Whatever happens throughout your journey, the best mates are there by your side.  Through messy break ups, moments of weakness, insecurities and any of the other shitty crap that life throws your way. They are there ready to lend an ear and back you up at all costs.  These are the solid bitches that will show up at a last minute 'party' you've tried to organise and drink goon with you until you pass out - it's only the 2 of you cause no other fucker bothered to show - todays blog bitch has appeared at more than her fair share of so called 'parties'.  They're also more than happy to tie your hair back when it's covered in spew - now that's unconditional love! 

Your bitches are the people that help to create a lifetime of good memories... sometimes even kickarse ones!   That's why I love my bitches so much!  To me... it's not money that makes the world go round... it's love, laughter, friendship and my solid mates - better throw a few beers in to create a bit of chaos.

I have countless tales of good times and bad, which I'm sure I'll cover in days to come...  In fact, I'm going to blog about each of these super fine whorearse bitches.  The bitches that make my world go round.

This is one such story...  Of a young girl they called the 'Mangina'  (for obvious reasons).  Mands and my relationship has been rather turbulent (bordering on non existant) over the past few years.  I'm happy to say we are back on track - which is great cause she is one crazy mofo!   FYI: She informed me this morning her 70s bush is no more... might have to call her Skinbox instead.

This story is little of both good and bad... short and sweet for a nice change!

It was many moons ago... I was completely swept away by a surprising hook up.  The brief time we spent together was very intense... and as soon as it was on, it was off.  I think in this particular case, it was harder I think, because he was a good mate of mine... and I'd crossed that line before (with other mates) only to have it blow up in my face. I was reluctant to go down that track if it wasn't going anywhere... and I thought that it was a dead cert. In hindsight, I should have been more cautious - there's always much more to loose when you've loved someone as a friend first.

One of the saddest parts about the whole sitch, was that Valentines was coming up and I'd bought him a gift - a very well thought out gift.  We had plans to spend it together, but a few days before he went totally awol.  He ignored my phone calls and texts and I started to feel like some kind of fucked up stalker.    Turns out he'd gone back to his girlfriend and thought it easier to ignore me, than talk to me.   I was a disheveled mess... not to mention heartbroken.

I'd been speaking to one of my mates, (Mangina) about how confusing the whole scenario was... She knew I was hurting badly.  The amount of bullshit banter I must have put the poor girl through!  Often, when you're going through something like this, your totally oblivious to anything that going on around you.  The convo is purely focused on what your dealing with!

One day, after not hearing from the guy for a over a week, a bunch of flowers arrives at reception... for me!  My hands where shaking wondering who it could be...  A secret admirer (I've never had one - boooo to them), one of my many fans (hahaha) or perhaps him - sending me flowers to apologise for the sudden disappearance?

A group of work mates surrounded me, asking who they were from.  I slowly opened the card to find out. It read:

"We all have an arsehole, no need to pick up more along the way - love Mangina"

The very first second, I felt a little disappointed, angry even (of course, not at Mangine - at the boy).  But this feeling was super quickly replaced by a massive smile and a couple of tears. A sound piece of advice with flowers to boot from a top chick - who could ask for anything more?

Post Script:  The guy I mentioned and I are still very tight... I certainly don't hate him - he's still a very good friend of mine.  He was in a bad place at the time and all is forgiven.  Besides, I'm a big believer of 'you are treated how you allow yourself to be treated'. Don't be a hater.. we were both to blame.  Life is full of these little lessons and I'm a better and stronger person because of it.  No damage done.  The end!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Da Weekend

Had a pretty uneventful weekend for a change!  After the last few weekends of catching up with mates in Byron, then the long weekend antics and Judes 70th, it was a nice change.

Friday arvo, Micko had work drinks in Coffs.  I got up super early, drove him in and before picking him up at the pub, did a spot of wedding outfit shopping.  I picked up a really cool black jumpsuit that I'm planning on rocking out with a red sash and a pair of killer red satin heels that are sitting staring and screaming 'wear me!  wear me!' everytime I open the wardrobe.  Unfortunately, nowhere in Nambucca warrants them being strapped on.

So for Satdee, the plan had been to head to Coffs to do some shopping and check out the car market... The new car thing is on the agenda, then off the agenda, then on the agenda.  At this point in time, it's on... again.  But on Saturday it came off the agenda again.  Perhaps this weekend instead!?

Saturday was a productive day cleaning the house thoroughly and Micko did a few odd jobs that we'd been talking about doing for months - the whirly bird hadn't been working properly so the house was heating up and the gutters needed cleaning out.

We took Billy for a long walk on the beach.  Had my first swim in the ocean for what felt like forever... A little exaggerated, but considering I've lived on the coast now for the best part of 7 years and haven't been for a swim in the ocean for over 2 years -its a little crazy!  Now, I should explain myself so I don't look like some kind of weird freak...   After moving to Vic, I just couldn't get into the ocean - it was waaaay to friggen cold for my liking!  I think I'd been spoilt by the mostly warm waters of Byron and Bruns for too long.  See, one of the factors in moving away was the fickle weather.  And I found, when it was warm enough to warrant a dip, the beach is the last place you wanna be!  By that I mean, it's like 40+ and just walking on the sand you're likely to burn the soles of your feet so badly, they peel off - yes, this has happened to me before.   Then when it's warm beach weather, I'm not hot enough to take a plunge (water temp feels fa-reezing!)  Does that straighten it our for ya?

So yeah... the swim was awesome!  I'd forgotten how awesome you feel when you get out and dry off... naturally.  The tightness of your skin, the salty taste when you lick your lips.  One of my favourite feelings!  Glad to have you back!

Billy was soooo good!  He came in momentarily, but is still learning to like being in deep where his little paws can't touch the ground.... Mainly, he's just a lazy bastard and anything that exerts to much energy ain't worth the effort.  So, he sat on the beach, ignoring everyone and everything that past... watching us intently.  Very, very cute! 

We hired a couple of DVD's and had a couple of quiet ones, while I drooled uncontrollably over my only male celeb crush - Paul Rudd (in I Love You Man - enjoyable).  Feel asleep watching the second DVD... Micko was unimpressed cause it was one of my 'lame choices' and he would rather have been sinking piss watching a horror if he'd known I'd be snoozing through it.

On Sunday, we took Billy for another long walk on the beach and in the arvo we tried this new cafe at the headland... We were both quite impressed!  Nambucca has no decent pizza to be found - good sushi, not so good in the pizza stakes.  This new place had been advertising 'gourmet pizza' and I'd wanted to suss it out.  Had the Mezze Plate Pizza and it rocked my socks.. We then stood at the headland and watched the whales frollicking past us. 

A good weekend all round... looking forward to the next one!  Man, I'm one lucky son of a gun! 

Saturday, October 17, 2009


The start of the long journey of house reno's and the lounge room is complete...

Here are a few bad before shots... Colour scheme = 90s naf!

Unfortunately, what these shots doesn't show is the feature (?!) wall... A lovely, I guess, Tuscan inspired deep musk pink.  They meant well!  Just didn't quite get it. 

I have to say... the yellow wasn't too bad.  It's such a warm and welcoming colour - just doesn't suit our furniture.  This was when we first bought the place - we had tennants for the first 9 months or so.

Now... to the transformation...

Can you tell I'm a big fan of red, black and white?  Notice my Macrame?

The light fittings are my most recent addtion... thank fuck I finally got rid of those hideous old ones!  They were causing me cornea damage!

The Micko... chilling with a beer on Sat arvo.  Caufield Cup is on.... we placed a few wagers!

Hmmmm... Did I mention I'm a big fan of the White Stripes?  Perhaps only once or twice.  Their collectable handpainted nesting dolls are the main feature.  My pride and joy! 

The sideboard was a Ruddy stimulus package present to myself... I love, love, love it! 

Wine rack, courtesy of Mum... She went retro shopping for lamps as a Christmas gift a couple of years back, and while she came back short a couple of lamps, she'd pick up that little beauty.

The end!  Next room to tackle...

Well, it's a bit of a toss up!  I'd like it to be the hellish grey and pink kitchen, but I think we'll be putting an awning on our kickarse back deck!

Friday, October 16, 2009


This morning... one of my mad as girlfriends updated her fb status to simply: :-)

I just typed my second ever symbol face... the first was in a comment to Mel's status update, that read:

":-P - Would you believe that's the first symbol face I've ever pulled anywhere?"

I can't believe I'm about to admit this (I'm a speed typer from way back) but I just spent about 15 seconds of my time looking at her FB page, then at the keyboard, then at this screen while I typed those 3 ridiculous symbols.  You see, I'm what you'd refer to as a cyber speak and emoticon virgin.

Yeah... I'm so not down with cyber speak/internet slang/text language.  I don't care in the least if other people use them, but I much prefer writing haha, rather than lol.  I just don't get some of them!  Often I find myself googling what the fuck they mean the first time around.  Ahhhh it's just too much work for too little return!

Why bother working out how to abbreviate rolling on the floor pissing myself laughing, into ROTFPML - it takes so much more time!  You've gotta think about what your trying to say, then cutting it down, then looking at the keyboard for the keys to type (because you've never written those letters in that sequence before - let alone all in caps) when all you really have to do is this... hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah  Now seriously, how much easier was that!

I can honestly say, except for the very odd occasion when I need to fit heaps of info into one text, I never use text abbreviations either... No 'c u', or 'wknd' or '4' or '2' and certainly never L8R.

I'm not going to get all self righteous and nasty on your arse because you use abbreviations on a regular basis... the fact of the matter is that I could care less.  It doesn't offend me... Most of the time I can even understand what your saying.  I just can't bring myself to do it, that's all.

Now, I'm no lyrical genius and I'm certainly not a professor of the English language.  Hell!  I don't even remember what the difference between a verb, adverb and noun is (I exaggerate - I kind of do), and I've probably misspelt your/you're around 10 times throughout this blog!   But there is something nice about typing the full word... I get a certain satisfaction from doing a job, and doing it properly.  I guess I'm not a short cut kind of girl... in any sense of the word.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Memory Lane - I

This morning, just as I was heading out the door to go workout, I got a text from one of my great mates, Krabes.

"Hey there.  Just heard Lamb on JJJ (Gorecki - I found the one) remembering Livid etc... Just wanted to say hi and that that was one of my all time fav memories.  Love ya Karls xoxo"

Krabes... What a sweetheart!  I love that bitch!

Anyways... got me to thinking, what are my all time fav memories?  I thought once a week I might post a good memory - god (or whatever) knows I've a shitload of brain drawers full of kickarse times.

And what better place to start than with the memory Krabes rates as all time (and for the record, so do I):

It was 2003? Livid (an old music festival they used to have in Brisbane (affectionately know as Brisvegas - definitely not Briselaide)... It was also Krabes hens night!  Me and all my bushpig best mates, flew up to Brissie to celebrate with excess everything - in true bushie style).

Due to work commitments, I was flying in later than everyone else and had planned to catch the train  (like my girls did that morning) to the Valley - where we were staying.  I arrived around 8.30pm only to discover that I'd just missed the last train... What the?  Fuck yeah.. I thought that myself!  I rang my girlfriends, who were a little shitfaced to ask where they were and how to get there.  I then jumped in a cab and high tailed it to the backpackers we were staying at... It was well past beer o'clock by then and I had some serious catching up to do!

We suck down pint after pint... chatting away and, I'm sure, making cockheads of ourselves - my bitches aren't the quietest mob you'll ever meet - more so in our mid 20s.  We also noticed someone who struck a remarkable resemblance to the hottest woman on the planet - Meg White - chowing down in the Japanese restaurant across the road.  We talked about going in to meet her, but I'm a big believer in leaving celebs be.  They are just people after all.  I'd hate if random strangers where coming up to me asking me for an autograph while I was enjoying dinner, walking my dog, having beers with my mates, going to do the shopping... pretty much anytime that was my time.  Treat people as you'd like to be treated, right?

Next day, headed off to the showgrounds... Tickets:  check... Money: check... Illegal substances: check... Crazy bitches to get f'd up and have a rad time with: check.

Good line up at livid that year... White Stripes, Jurassic 5, Yeah Yeah Yeahs was enough to have me in the queue for tix.  I could tell endless tales of the good shit we got up to, but that's going a little off target - as has much of this entry really.. I guess I'm just trying to set the scene.

A couple of note worthy moments included:

J5 with those things from your childhood that you'd swing around and they'd make a crazy noise.  They were like a plastic tube with ripples all the way down (like the bendy bit of a straw), usually in fluro colours, and you'd swing them in a big circle again and again... They made kind of a low, deep, vibrating, whoosing sound.  RAD!  I found one in a $2 shop shortly after and had endless hours of fun with it... until I had to use to poor petrol in the rental truck during one of our fun interstate moves.

White Stripes:  Got in and posi'd it up early, only to freak out 5 minutes into the set!  I'm a bit of a clausto - so much so my hugs are an in and out affair - the crowd was too much for me.  I started screaming like a crazy bitch 'Let me out... Fuck I can't breathe' and literally walked on top of people, or madly pushed them out of the way to force my way out of there!  I was spewing!  Was it the clausto or the fact I was well and truly peaking by this stage?  Not too sure!

But back to the story at hand...

Resin Dogs were playing in the dark and dingy cattle shed... It was a bizarre place to see a band - very dark with just a few streams of light coming through from the opening at one end.  It felt like we were inside that hallway that Alice in Wonderland walks though.. the one that get smaller and smaller the further you go.  It was a massive area though... seems to stretch forever into the darkness at one end... and forever into a small opening of light at the other.  Resin Dogs are always a festival highlight...  Everytime I've seen them, I've stumbled out drenched in sweat with a massive grin spread across my face.  Take my legs days to recover!

Krabes and I spot Lamb is coming up and we decide to hang around and check it out.   I'm so glad we did... They were amazing!  I remember looking at the stunningly beautiful, Lou Rhodes, completely awestruck!  She was angelic... An aura of light surrounded her (I'm thinking stage lights cause aura readings ain't my strong point) making her appear kind of other wordly.  I turned to Krabes to relay my thoughts, and she said 'I was thinking the exact same thing... she looks totally heavenly'.  I'm sure it was the perfect balance of their trip hop magical sounds, her beauty, their lighting and Krabes and my state of mind but it is a moment that has obviously stayed with us since.

For those who are unfamiliar with the sounds of Lamb... shame on you!!!

Here is a little sample of their biggest hit, Gorecki, for your auditory pleasure!

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Karma's a bitch?

Micko's Mum celebrated her 70th birthday this weekend... We took an early mark Friday arv and headed up to prepare for the party.  Jude was stoked... She was surrounded by friends while we prepared, cooked and served them plate after plate of food, making sure the grog was flowing.  She had an absolute ball!

Billy got to meet Piper, Ned and Gidget for the first time... While it was love at first sight with Piper, for poor old Neddy it was a harrowing experience!  Billy jumped up to say G'day and Ned fell back into one of the chairs that didn't have it's seat cover on... Thump!  He fell straight through and along with some scratches on his back, came a scar that might take a little longer to heal (lets just say it might take him some time to warm completely to Bill).

We had a great weekend!  It's always awesome to spend quality time with Micko's family... Jack and Lu are awesome cooks so the food is always more than wonderful.  Not to mention, the beers, wine and champas are always flowing - as is the conversation!

Sunday arvo, we packed up to head off...  As we headed towards Grafton, we noticed a sign that said Pacific Hwy closed at Valla due to an accident.   We were still an hour and a half away so didn't take too much notice.  Once we reached Coffs, in the first of a string of what would prove a perfect blend of good luck and coincidence, we past the last petrol station on our side of the road... We were almost on empty and really needed to fill up.  I said to Micko, since we'd accidently passed the fuel stop, that perhaps it would be a good opportunity for us to head down to the jetty and get some Cold Rock (I've never had it before and had been talking with Micko's sister Lu about it during the weekend).  There is a petrol station on the way back up to the highway so we could fill up there.

We then headed the long way back to the highway, drove through Urunga and noticed another sign that said the Pac Hwy was closed... Traffic seemed to be flowing both ways, so onwards bound.  All of a sudden we see cars coming towards us flashing their lights... Uh Oh!  We slow down and come to a stop behind the k's of traffic at a standstill.  Just as we do, a guy drives past, slows down and lets us know there is a minimum 4 hour wait!  Micko and I look at each other and in unison say 'Faaaark orf!'  And in one stroke of good fortune, we hear an older woman yell out, ' We know a short cut, follow us', as they quickly turned off down what looks like a driveway.

We wind on down this dirt and gravel road, follow this man who is driving his Ford like he's in some kind of off road rally.  The dust is flying up in front of us, like a thick fog in the middle of winter and we can all but see 10 metres in front of us.  Oblivious to our plight, as he was in front and the dust that swirled around encompassing us in a blanket of white dirt was not an issue, he forged on rapidly.... Leaving us chasing behind him, not knowing where we were going or what bumps and dips lay ahead on the road, but merely following the trail of dirt plumes.

CRUUUUCNH!!!!  The car bottoms out and lets out a massive, chringe worthy grinding, crunching, scratching kind of sound - the exact sound you don't want to hear while in the middle of nowhere with zero phone coverage and a bunch of cars following you.  I felt my entire body tense up... similar to when I'm in a car with speeding, tailgating girlfriend.  Micko says, 'Don't worry... Things that hit the bottom of the car always sound worse than they are'.  And I'm thinking, you know he's right!  It's not the first time I've heard the car bottom out like that.  But, each time we accelerate the car makes this very strange vibrating, weird sound - like the muffler has fallen off and is scraping along the ground.  I start to picture us broken down, quite literally in the middle of nowhere, blocking the road for all the people following us... No phone service to call NRMA and no place for the people behind us, or heading towards us, to turn around.

Then we all come to an abrupt halt... There, on this barely driveway width road, is a massive four wheeler with a bloody huge boat attached to the back.  Hmmmm... This could be interesting!  We all start to pull off into the bush to try to let him though.  Micko takes the opportunity to jump out and check the belly of the car - nothing dangling so we'll worry about it later.  After around 10 minutes, the guys work out a way and we all safely squeeze past the man and the boat (and the 10 to 20 cars behind him).

So, we press on, chasing the retired rally car driver through the bends, bumps, dips and dirt until we reach the highway - then homeward bound!  I'd really love to buy that poor bastard a beer to thank him.  He actually lives in Valla and couldn't have made it home with the traffic at a stand still but took us through regardless - what a champ!

Oh and on the car front... All seems fine!  Although the shitbomb does make a weird sound when accelerating up hills.  I'm seriously considering upgrading for the long journey down to Melbs for Chrissy.  My old wagon has seen much better days!  She goes though and I'll be quite heartbroken when you leaves me for junkyard heaven.

When we arrive home, crack open a beer and light a durrie, Micko and I talk about the endless coincidences and stroke of luck that got us through... Had we not left Lennox at that time, nearly run out of fuel, missed the last petrol station then taken a detour for a Cold Rock stop, driven the long way round and reached the stand still traffic at that exact moment, we could have been:  1. In the accident!  or 2.  Still sitting on the highway, with Billy in the back and me busting for a shit.

Sometimes the universe works exactly the way it should... and in those times Micko and I like to thank our lucky stars!  Karma is a bitch, but she can also show you the way home...

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Who loves ya baby

I was looking at Billy, lying on the floor in our bedroom, while I was changing into my gym gear... Then I opened my mouth and out came... 'Who loves ya baby, who really loves ya baby...'

So, you're probably thinking... What the fuck?  What is that song?

Here is a sample for those Debbie Gibson virgins out there...

As you can see... it's quality with a capital Q!

Well, the surprising thing is that I don't think I've heard it since around 1988 but I immediately knew who sang it and most of the words...   It's from her only album (? well the only one I had), Electric Youth.... Featuring such gems as the title track, Electric Youth and Lost in Your Eyes.

This raised an unanswered question for me...   What happens to out of date music?  When even the AM or easy listening stations won't touch it, does it become obsolete?  When they are no longer in print, what happens?  Do albums and artists go to record heaven (or hell)...  Do they disappear into obscurity never to be seen, or heard again (expect by those few who didn't throw them out in utter disgust during their grunge stage)?   I guess, if you're that desperate you could always keep searching ebay until something comes up, but it's kind of missing the point of my rant.

I've plenty of cassettes that are lying in landfill somewhere because I felt they followed me around like a bad smell... not to mention if someone had found them hidden away in the back of my closet, I would have been totally embarrassed and lost any ounce of cred I had!  Some such titles included:  Bros (it was a special Christmas edition that had Silent Night at the end), Banarama, Icehouse, Mel & Kim, Rick Astley, the aforementioned Debbie Gibson...

Then there were gems, that disappeared, never to show their face again!  Kids in the Kitchen (perhaps that should fall in the above category), 1927 (recently got 'Ish' on CD - thanks ebay), and more recently... The Fauves - Future Spa ( I was hunting down a copy for my little bro's wedding but alas, no longer in print - and not on itunes).

Which kind of brings me to my next point (I'm a little scattered today so forgive the to-ing and fro-ing) I'm a hard copy kind of woman... I have downloaded a few albums from itunes, but I like to have the album art and a physical copy - if it's an album I think will be a cracker.  I am kind of hoping that the online music world will open up a few more doors for out of print music... I understand that music is out of print because its no longer selling great volumes... Well, there's nothing to lose having it online then is there?  Only money to make!

Well... that's about all I have time for today.  Billy is looking at me with his 'take me for a walk you arsehole' eyes!  Poor bastard has been sleeping all day waiting for me to finish my shitload of recording and editing... and a little blogging.

I''ll leave you with this piece of closet gold!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Righting a Wrong

In a moment of weakness I previously admitted to, accidently, killing my two canaries (would be almost 10 years ago now so can be put down to being young and dumb)... Today, I made a step towards evening out the playing field.

A little birdy banged flew into my kitchen window and landed on the table on the deck.  I sprung into action, grabbed a shoe box and an old towel, some water and some bread.  I made sure the little birdy was comfortable - if this was it's last moment on earth, I wanted to make sure he/she was at the very least comfortable.

I left to go to gym, came home and thankfully little birdy had recovered and flew off.

Now, I've just got to help one more bird to bring the universe back into balance...

Man, I'm good!


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