Karma's a bitch!

 Today, I mentored a bunch of girls from the local high schools through a program run through local council.  It was concerning money matters and budgeting.  As it turned out, I wish I'd had something like this when I was a youngster... I made every single mistake they covered!  Would have been nice to avoid them, but I guess they were mistakes I had to make (credit cards, ignoring bills, borrowing interest free but never making payments, pyramid schemes, putting leases and bills in my name only, taking loans to cover credit card debt but not paying the credit card debt fully... the list goes on and on and on).

Anyways... the title of this post is Karma's a bitch... why?

When I was at high school, I was a little prick.  I was cheeky, thought I knew it all (some things don't change) and thought my angelic face would get me out of any trouble I found myself in.  I'm sure some teachers found me charming (hell, I'm a smart cookie... but also a bit of a clown), and I'm also more than sure I caused quite a few of them a headache or two from time to time.

So, this morning... out of all the tables in the hall, I pick the one full of troublemakers.  Highly intelligent girls who were easily distracted and, of course, all sitting on the one table together.  They talked non stop, doodled, drew on each other and were just generally disruptive.  At first, I remained calm and gave them a few little 'Girls... come on'.  Then, while trying to complete an exercise, I lost it.

'Girls!  I've given up my day to come here and volunteer to try and give you a better future.  I didn't have to do that... I could be at home watching friggin Supernanny, but I'm here and the least you can do is give me the respect I deserve.'

Ouch!  It certainly shut them up though - for a little while anyway.   It also totally re-confirmed my decision to change my degree from 'Secondary Teaching' to 'Media Arts'!

Here's to you teachers out there... You guys are incredible!

Farewell Mr Rudd

I don't delve into politics often... mostly because I feel I'm inadequately educated in the area.  No one wants to look like a dickhead - well, I'm happy to look like a dickhead when I've pissed my pants in public or been caught hanging a shit on the beach... but I don't like to feel that I might be wrong (which for the record, I hardly ever am... haha)

I'll fight till I'm blue in the face for something I believe in (closing the gap between Indigenous Australians is high up on my list) but if I feel I don't have all the facts, I'll observe and form my opinions quietly on the side lines.

One thing I do know?  In 07 I wanted John Howard out... I was sick of looking at him, I wanted an apology to our Stolen Gen and more than anything, I wanted change. 

Well, we got it!  Kevin 07 was a great outcome... change is always scary and I did shed a tear or two when poor old Johnny finally got the boot.  K-Rudd (as he is affectionately known - all Aussie's must have nick names - you all should know that by now) started out on a high... He delivered the apology with grace and sincerity.  He helped us shield and weather out the global financial crisis relatively unscathed....

Then it all went pear shaped.  The insulation debarcle, the super mining tax, the back down on the emissions trading scheme... and things weren't looking good for our cartoonish looking PM.

Today, poor Ruddy has been ousted by the party he lead to victory.  I feel sad for him... and his family.  In some ways I think he's gotten the raw end of the deal.  How quick we are to dismiss all the great things he acheived in his short stint as PM of this great country.  He is the leader of a 'party'... it's not a one man show.

On the other hand.... Today represents great change!  I couldn't be happier to finally have a women at the helm.  However, I am disturbed by the circumstances...  Why is it that a woman is only ever placed in the top jobs when things are crumbling around them.  There are numerous examples on the table... Christine Kenneally, Carmen Lawrence, Joan Kirner.  Put into positions of power to pick up the pieces just to be ousted by the public.  Anna Bligh is really the only exception (go you Queenslanders).  I sincerely hope Julia is an exception to the rule and a great step forward for our country.

She might have a bogan accent and red hair (pipe down you ranga haters - I'm married to one remember!) but does that have any affect on her ability to do the job... and do it well? 

Go Jules!  I'm expecting great things... and momentous change... for the better!  You've opened the door for change... here's hoping you step through it!

Pushing the limits

I know I've been a little sporadic with my blogging... to say the very least.  I've been doing my darnedest to connect in the real world, so my cyber self has been laying low.

Good news is I'm feeling well adjusted... and a little more together every day.  I tell you, it's been a hard slog but I'm coming out of the fog and into the sunshine.  Oh... it's been hard work!  Therapy and challenging myself to do re-connect.  It's weird... things I'd have never have thought twice about, these days cause me my heart to race and sweat like a dirty motherfucker!  Damn you anxiety!

This weekend was shit. hot!  Micko and I went to the markets and had a delicious lunch in Bello, then grabbed a bunch of DVD's and chilled out all arvo with a few vodka's.

Sunday we went to a barbie... this was pretty big.   It's so strange... I've never been scared of meeting people but the isolation of the past 15 months has taken effect and I feel like a shy mouse - not the usual gregarious Karls.  I find myself scared to engage socially - well, with people I don't know very well.  Hiding away in my house and telling myself I can't be bothered when something social does crop up seems an easier option - it's also a cop out (now what have I told you about being nice to yourself Karls?  It's not a 'cop out', it's what you've been doing to get by).

You know, I'd probably have done the same thing this weekend, but I had a really interesting 'sign'.  I bought this great book called 'Spiritual Business' - as the title suggests, it's about running your business with spirituality in mind.   In the pack you get the book, some aromatherapy oils and a deck of spiritual business cards (kind of like angel or tarot cards).  When you need some inspiration, you shuffle the deck and pick the card that stands out to you.  So, last week, while feeling a little lack lustre, I reached for the deck.  I thoroughly shuffled the cards, sent out 'tell me what I need to know' vibes and pulled out 'Find a Guru'.  Unsatisfied, I re-shuffled the deck and again, pulled out 'Find a Guru'.  By now, I was a little baffled and decided to try just one more time for a card that 'spoke to me' a little more.  Wouldn't you fucking know it?  Third times a charm... I pulled out 'Find a Guru'!

I decide perhaps the universe is trying to tell me something... but first, of course, I check the cards to see that I haven't been accidently sent a 'Find a Guru' pack.  But no, there are 60 odd cards and every single one is different!

"Find A Guru:  Look around you.  Now that you are on this path there is someone - or an opportunity to meet someone - who can help you navigate the spiritual highway.  They are out there - look for the signs and say 'yes' to every opportunity to meet new people, or ask to meet them when someone else is talking to them.  You will find them, because they are waiting'. 

Pretty straight forward message, right?  In other words... go to this fucking barbie and take the rescue remedy if you think you might freak out.

Anyway...   I'd only met the woman who was hosting this barbie the one time... and we knew no-one but her.  Turned out a great day!  It wasn't long before old Karls came out to say hello... and surprisingly (well to me... in my current headspace) people actually liked me.

It was well worth the initial sweat break out (thankfully - and probably as I hail from Melbourne - I tend to wear quite a bit of black so the sweat marks are virtually unnoticable).  Met some really great people and was so nice to be doing something social!  Plus, I reminded myself that pushing my limits is a good exercise in self discovery.  Besides... really. what is the worse that could happen?

Here is what I discovered...  The key is to turn up on time.  That way you are quite likely the first people there and you'll get properly introduced to the first few dudes to arrive... thus conversation is much easier and you won't feel as overwhelmed as turning up to a full on party where you know no one but the host!

And... in other breaking news... I've been approached by the local council to act as a youth mentor - helping high school girls learn about money and budgeting (hmmmmm... perhaps they've got the wrong person - I guess I could teach 'what not to do!').   Should be fun!   I'm also setting up that business women's network locally and I've got about 20-25 people interested (and that's from not really knowing anyone, so I'd say that's a great success).

You could say I'm pretty proud of what I'm achieving out there in the big scary real world... and you know what?  You'd be spot on!  I'm owning it... for real!

Karmic Adventures

Now, I'm not about to go all hippy on your arse (although my underarm hair may beg to differ), however I am about to share with you esoteric tales of other worldly charm.  (In other words, I've been indulging my spiritual self of late and am about to share with you lucky souls my experience.) 

It's been an interesting journey thus far and has taken me to the far reaches of the Coffs Coast (not that far, really but sounds intriguing (right?).  Beginning with a visit from a good Melbourne friend, Micko went to help some mates move and Kath and I spent the day in Bello doing girly shit... a vintage clothing fair, some of my favourite shops and then a trip to the insanely beautiful Promised Land - a place where the Never Never creek meanders it's way through the landscape (absolutely breathtaking and instantly relaxing).  On the way home, I remembered there was a pyschic fair on in Coffs... so we made a detour to see what our destinies held in store.

'Twas the local 'Catholic Club'... not the first place that springs to mind when you mention the words 'Pyschic Fair'!  In a dark and dingy room four psychics sat twiddling their thumbs - not a punter in sight.  From a white board we chose the pyschic that stood out the most.  I chose an older woman (aren't they all aging - I think it's a prerequisite for the job) who, amongst other 'abilities', mentioned 'Medium', 'Aura Readings' and 'Tarot'... that was enough for me to make a decision.   Kath chose a guy... The others gave us death stares!

I took up a pew, the Pyschic started madly scribbling away with her coloured pastels on a piece of photocopied paper with the outline of a body.  She pressed 'record' on her, clearly almost older than me (massive exaggeration), tape recorder.  The session began...

'I'm sensing a very strong presence... Your Grandmother...'

Chills went down my spine, hair stood on end (mainly the underarm as it's so wildly out of control) and tears started to well in my eyes.   

I was going to type out some of the conversation we had... but it would be so long I'd definitely lose your attention (and lets face it... it's almost as boring as hearing in detail someone else's dream - unless you're into analysing them of course - perhaps I might give that a go too).  

The things she went on to mention were as random as knowing how she passed, that we'd alway drink a cup of tea together, her big warm and lovely hugs, her melting moments, the Christmas pudding, her intense dislike of the word 'Grandmother' and that she was just 'Nan', that my bro and I had been discussing going to Thailand, and that I was coming into a little money (that my folks are passing on from Nan's estate)...   

Needless to say, it was a bizarre experience... whether or not her predictions will eventuate seems relatively unimportant... she helped me get one more step outside of the grief.  I actually feel like a bit of weight has been lifted.

I must also keep my eye open for a man with grey hair who will share the same work ethic and integrity as I do... and watch my nether region - not in that order, and not mutually exclusive, of course!

In other news... I'm heading to Byron for the weekend and surprising the lovely Krabes with a much deserved couple of hours in a day spa - including an hour massage... 

I. can't. wait!

I'll try not to piss in the pool... 

but I can't promise anything!