Friday, November 19, 2010

Office Dares

Got an email today that had almost need to change my grundies!  Usually I don't pass these things on, but I couldn't resist...

Although, it wouldn't work so well in my 'office'... makes me want a proper job (for all of half of a half of a half of a second).
Office Dares

One Point Dares

 1. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

 2. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

 3. Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

 4. Walk sideways to the photocopier.

 5. While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

 6. When in elevator with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you.

 7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy..."

 8. Don't use any punctuation.

 9. Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.

 10. Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.

Three Point Dares

 1. Say to your boss, "I like your style", wink, and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.

 2. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.

 3. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

 4. Every time you get an email, shout ''email''.

 5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

 6. Keep hole punching your finger. Each time you do, shout, "dagnamit, it's happened again!". Then do it again.

 7. Introduce yourself to a new colleague as "the office bicycle". Then wink and pout.

 8. Call I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can't seem to access any p*rnography web sites.

Five Point Dares

 1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

 2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

 3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Dave".

 4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".

 5. When you've picked up a call, before speaking finish off some fake conversation with the words, ''she can abort it for all I care''.

 6. After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in: "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for one hour.

 7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"

 8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again!"

 9. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

 10. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash each biscuit with your fist.

 11. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

 12. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

 13. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

 14. Sign or pp all letters with your initials and a swastika.

 15. Dry hump the photocopier. When someone spots you, stop and cough embarrassingly, then lean in to the machine and whisper loudly, "I'll see you tonight".

Too good not to share in this rainy Friday arvo - when beer o'clock can't seem to come around quick enough!

PS.  I have been known to do the 3 point dare - No. 1 on occasion (to my boss... being myself... in the mirror) but don't hold that against me!


jprp said...

I thought the email was good enough... but your "PS" nearly had me wetting my pants!

Miss Manda said...

Karls, I was doing 5-pointer number 12 yesterday while singing the Harry Potter theme. One of my colleagues asked me what the cluck I was doing, so I chucked in the cute card and said "nothing, but you can call me a flower if you want to".

Must be something in the water... ;)

Charis said...

Those. Were. AWESOME. Had me laughing like a lunatic. Thanks, I needed that!!

Masala Chica said...

Oh. My. God. The sad thing is, I have actually done some of the one pointers just to kill my own boredom. I need to move on to the five pointers for sure.

I think if I can score 3 points a day for the next month, I'm in business.


Alicia said...

ohhh lady some of these had me busting up laughing!! almost makes me wish i worked in an office again so i could do them! and don't worry...i tell myself the same thing in the mirror too :)

Kristin said...

I think a vlog of you doing the 3 point dare is in order. HA!


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