Wednesday, April 28, 2010

10 year flashback!

Yo bitches!  I've been sitting here at my computer waiting for some tech support for my VOIP phone and I just happened to stumble across and email I sent to my best mate, Houghy, just on 10 years ago.  So here is a glimpse of my outstanding maturity (not much has changed - except a few more wrinkles, quite a few kg's and a bazillion grey hairs).

This is what I used to look like...
Coopers... anyone?  
This photo still makes me laugh so much I cry when I see it!  Talk about putting it all out there!

Oh... and hey!  Tune out now if you are easily offended by bad language! 

Seriously... who am I kidding!  If you've been here even once before you have some kind of idea what is about to unfold... verbally!

Bushpig motherfucker,

How's it going scraggus. Did you get my message from mandas phone? I got you RRRRRAAAAAADDDDDD Stubby holder today!!!!! THANKS!!!!! its cool.

Hope all is well and the nerds arent bringing you down. I'm sure if you search enough you'll find at least one pusta malaca. I will visit as soon as I can. I am still on the hunt for a new job but it is so far fucken unsuccessful. I WANT A CAREER! (sorry to be a Krisha  ie, I want an education!) Late 90s ((adjusted today to protect the innocent)) Granmas funeral was today, it was pretty sad. We are still having a few problems, mainly my fault. ((cough, cough)) Hopefully we can work it out! ((BOMBOMMM)) 

I am going to weight watchers tonight. I need to be skinny!!! and I wont stop unit I am unobese!  ((slight exaggeration... as you can see from the previous picture))

Hope all your family is well, I might ring them tomorrow and see how they are doing. I heard you picked up!!!!! Tell me all the goss you slurry whore.

I saw G R ( do you remember that bogan mull head?, I ve heard he has four kids to seperate girl junkies (GROSS) he is an absolute Junkie. He has track marks in his arms every where and he was rolling his eyes into the back of his head and his friend was passed out and drooling. It was disgusting!!! DIE ALL JUNKIES!!!!!! ((I must say this was at the height of the heroin epidemic in Melbourne and I was full of tact - not!))

Love ya cunnilinguist

Karlos Maturity
Prostitution Consultant
Bach. W&J&S (pembroke)*
*Certificate of deportment Deportment school for Whores, Junkies & Sluts
A.K.A P ((I've deleted the name but real life friends know the score)) Secondary College - Senior Campus


bananas. said...

Omg lady you are awesome! AWESOME!!! I can bareley understand the aussie slang but i definitely get the humor.

And holy bajungas!!!! K thats all i will say about that :)

Have a great day!!!

Big Boops said...

I don't even know what to say. This is one of the best blog posts I've ever read. You might be the funniest people on the interwebs.

I'm stealing "bushpig motherfucker", we don't have those here in Oklahoma.

Cathy said...

This is hilarious....even though I can't understand half of it. The picture,!

Smart Ass Sara said...

Seriously. I need this kind of picture for myself. ;)

foxy said...

Yeah, so I had to go back and try to figure out what the hell it means, but I think I got it!!! FINALLY. You're a freaking RIOT.

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Please. You aren't fooling anyone. That hot mess of a picture was taken yesterday.

jprp said...

OH my god Karls, funniest post ever... takes me back!

one word


i think i just wet my pants a little bit!

jprp said...

OH my god Karls, funniest post ever... takes me back!

one word


i think i just wet my pants a little bit!

aladdinsane12 said...

that's amazing! you totally cracked me up! i'm totally going to start using "unobese" every day from now on :)

i've always wanted to be a prostitution consultant...


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