Friday, April 15, 2011

The Search...

I'm a MASSIVE planner.  I always had a 5 year guide laid out (mainly centered around my career) and besides a little detour (when I went back to work in photographic retail... cause it's so easy to work 50 hours a week and concentrate on building your own business at the same time... NOT) I've pretty much alway hit the mark.  

Was it because I put it out there so the universe could steer me in the right direction?  Was it because I'm like a dog with a fucking bone when I want something?  Was it the old 98% perspiration, 2% inspiration rule?  Was it visualisation?  I think it was a combination of all of these... and probably more.

I love what I do... For those not in the know, or are new to these parts, I'm a Voice Over artist.  I run a fabulous business, Killer Kopy, which started out as a little writing business, but turned into a voice over monster.  I have about 15 talent now on the books and the best editor in the world as my trusty sidekick. And business?  Well, it's fucking great!  

So... why the search?  I hear you ask.

If it ain't broken, right?

I guess I like testing myself... getting too comfortable makes me feel lazy and bored.  I get complacent and end up in a bit of rut.  I end up resenting the job, the person, myself.  I don't feel like I'm living life to the full... that I'm letting it pass by... and that I'm no longer growing.  I like personal growth.

  I like to be moving... but I'm slowly learning to appreciate being still (hence, allowing the universe to show me the way, not hunting down my future like a tiger does it's prey).

I'm always looking to be challenged... it makes life very interesting (and it's a big reason I managed to overcome the depression and crippling anxiety I suffered over the past 18 months or so).  And now that I'm through probably the toughest tunnel I've made way through to date, I'm out the other side... standing in the sun and ready to become the very best I can be... personally, mentally and spiritually.

I also feel like there is more I'm supposed to be doing... not too sure what exactly that is, but I'm certainly keen to find out.  I'm looking for new ways to grow and learn... 

For me, putting this challenge out to the universe... asking it to show me where I am supposed to be, and what I am supposed to be doing (and then acting on it) is a really daunting task.  I'm a control freak of the highest order!  So, letting go is a real challenge.

Although, something about this all feels right... my instincts are telling me I'm headed in the right direction.

At the end of the day, we can follow our head or our heart...

but when both are urging you on?

It has to be destiny.

P.S; I know this is quite a heavy read for a Friday morning.  I haven't lost my funny... it's sitting in about 3 other drafts I've started on this inspirational morn.  I'll have another coincidence for you come Monday... the outcome is going to reveal itself to me today.  In the meantime, I must go shave my arm pits before you all start to think I've turned into a crazy reclusive hippy.

1 comment:

Madmother said...

But you are a reclusive hippy, aren't you?



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