Bye bye blogger

I've just come home from an AH-MAZING session with the wonderful Rachel, from Angel Psychic Healing.  I feel like a weight has been lifted and I'm ready to charge into the future with self confidence and a sense freedom.

I realised that this blog has become a tool of procrastination.  I'm essentially distracting myself from the daunting task ahead... putting my ideas into action. 

While I've been here processing my thoughts and funnelling them into my consciousness (which no doubt has some benefit - the thoughts stop buzzing around like a crazy swarm of bees in my mind), I've been unconsciously putting off taking the steps to make my dreams a reality.  I'm using up all my creativity here and not putting the energy to use where it needs to be.

It's safer here, in blogland, than out in the big, wild, unpredictable world.  If you know me at all by now, you'll know that vulnerability is not my strongest suite. 

It's time I really started walking the talk... putting my ego where my mouth is.

I'm taking an extended leave of absence to focus on making shit happen (good shit).  Will I be back?  I don't think so right now... I'm closing the door but I'm not sealing it shut.

And I'm taking the first step today... I'm posting that letter.

See you on the other side.

Wish me luck!

Light & Love

Karls out.

Oprah and the wonderful world of television....

As you'd probably be aware, I've been thinking about writing a TV show.  I even braved the cold and flew to Hobart to take part in a television writing course.

The coincidences that have led me to believe I need to do this have been kind of astonishing.  For example, I actually studied TV at Uni and loved it... but I went down the path of photography because it was easier to get a break in... I then moved onto sound - worked in radio and started my voice over business.  Now, I'm being pulled back to television.

The first, was a simple thought - mindful programming.  Followed, the next morning, by waking up with a name on my mind; 'Karmic Production'.  This name had visited me once or twice before... but at the time I had no intention at all of working in TV, so it was stored in a dark dingy drawer in the very recesses of my mind.  It's fitting too... as it's a culmination of my name and Micko's.  Wooooooooooo.

The idea developed a little further.. then I coincidently stumbled across the course - which I had considered doing in the past but there was no word as to when it would run again - or where.  Timely really, as when I quite by accident stumbled across the website, the course was to be held the very next weekend.

I spoke to a good friend, who I'd always wanted to work with, and she had been thinking along a similar vein.  She had another friend also interested... but neither of them wanted to be involved in the writing. 

As I arrived the first morning of my course, I walked in to hear one of the other students talking of a friend who had exactly the same idea as I did.  I met with this person and swapped contact details.

Then, while catching up with a cousin in Hobart over a beer, she told me a friend of hers had entered a competition Oprah was holding for a show that was based around spirituality. 

Oh and there was the Eden Gaha incident - which I never heard any reply to.  But it taught me I don't need to be afraid to sometimes go out on a limb... and put myself out there.

Last night, this same friend I refered to earlier, sent me a link of an interview Oprah did with Barbara Walters.  She speaks of the idea of 'mindful tv' coming to her... along with the OWN name.  Surprisingly eerily similar to what happened to me. ***I must have been living under a rock as I had no idea she had started her own (pardon the pun) network.***

The past few months I've too'd and fro'd... am I on the right path?  Is this the direction I should be headed?  

I've meditated, consulted the angels, the stars, pyschics and everything in between for a clear answer... but I never trusted in my own instincts.  I desperately wanted outside confirmation - which even when I got, time and time again, I pushed aside with inner doubt and fear.

This morning, I woke up with a clear mind... and saw Oprah in my mind, stumbling across a letter I'd written.  I immediately grabbed my notebook (I've been writing morning pages - a concept I might blog about shortly) and started writing a letter.

Today... I'm sending my letter out into the Universe - and more directly to Oprah (well, as close to her as I can get).  I've been true to myself and followed my instincts...  What happens from here is in the hands of the Universe.

My horoscopes this morning read; commit to your idea... although you don't have a crystal clear picture of what that idea is, it's time to put faith in and bite the bullet.  Freaky!

Wish me luck!

Good vibrations..

With all the research I've been doing on creating happiness and shifting old beliefs, a theme keeps bubbling to the surface.  So much so, in recent times, I can no longer dismiss it's relevance.  

Vibration... 

Vibration... and it's relationship with human emotion.

During Uni days I read the Celestine Prophecy - like millions of other people on earth.  For the most part I loved it...  the ideas of synchronicity really resonated with me and the book had me intrigued.  That is... until the last few chapters - James Redfield really lost me after he introduced the vibrational and God element.  My atheist self just couldn't grasp it at all... seemed to fanciful to comprehend.  

When you start to head down your own path to enlightenment, no doubt the concept of vibration will raise it's head again and again.  

I've started on this path many times in my life to date... but I've always ended up hitting my head against the same vibrational brick wall... then I've turned around with my tail between my legs and continued living the struggle that is life.

What I've come to realise is that the idea of vibrational energy is quite a simple concept.  It's often over complicated (well, it had seemed that way to me - although it could have been my perspective and headspace at the time - perhaps I wasn't ready) by intimidating new age gurus who seem to speak a different language altogether.

It all boils down to an incredibly simple idea...
When you are happy and inspired your energy vibrates at a higher frequency.  And this is something you already know, even if you think you don't... when you are feeling good, you feel lighter.
When you are feeling down, uninspired, flat, angry - any of those negative emotions - you vibrate at a lower frequency... and therefore you feel heavy. 

It really is that simple.  

Where it gets a little more controversial is the combination of vibration and the idea of the law of attraction.

But, enough new age ranting for today...  I'll open that pandoras box another day!  

Love & light peeps.
(has new meaning for me now)
love & light

Lost for words...

It's not often I'm lost for words.  

This morning... I am.

One fleeting moment can change everything.  Turn everything you thought you knew on its head.

One day, your life can be travelling along perfectly.  The next, it's a complete mess... 

and it is all completely out of your hands.

It makes you wonder why.  It's unfair.  It's unbelievable.  It's unthinkable.

In a fleeting moment like this, a friends life has been completely turned upside down.

And this time, I have no words.

No words of comfort.  No 'look on the brightside'.  No 'everything happens for a reason'.  Just nothing.

Cliches don't cut it this morning.

All I can give is my love and support.  

Sometimes it seems like that's just not enough.  Right now, it's all I have and is all I can offer.

From one moment to the next everything can change.  

Remember to be thankful for everything you have, and are, in this very moment...  

for in the next, it could all be gone.

Groundhog Day Enlightenment

Last night, I spent on the couch, glass of red in hand and the tele for company.  

Groundhog Day was on.  I've not seen that movie for yeeaaaarrrrrs!  

From where I presently sit in life, I see it from a completely different angle than before.  

Previously, I've been kind of annoyed by Bill Murray and I found the whole idea boring and uninspired.  I mean, of course he'll get it right in the end!  Durh!  He has had enough opportunities to turn things around.  Practise makes perfect, after all.

This time round it took a completely different spin.  It wasn't about repetition or learning from mistakes... it was all about attitude.

By changing your attitude, you can totally affect the outcome. 

When Bill is pessimistic, nothing goes right.  And everything that happens to him confirms his belief that nothing will go right.

But....

When Bill puts on his optimistic hat... 

he starts to see things not only from his perspective, but from others... 

he recognises the beauty in everything that surrounds him...

he connects and lives in the present...

he accepts and surrenders... 

then, things start to shift.

And?

Well, he finds happiness and contentment in everything...

 because he stops looking for everything to make him content & happy.  

And all thanks to a little shift in attitude.

So glad I stayed in!

Walking the talk.

I mentioned a week or so back that I'm walking the talk.  Sometimes little steps in the right direction can make all the difference.

How am I doing that, you may ask.

I tend never to ask for anything of anyone else.  I just accept things for what they are... sometimes whinge about it a little, but generally accept it.  Maybe it's because I thought I wasn't worthy of more.  

I'm the person that wouldn't think twice if a friend rang for advice, to vent or cry on my shoulder... If someone asked for a lift to or from somewhere... If they could bunk down in the spare room for a few weeks while they sorted their shit out...  If they needed help getting ahead and I could be of any service... Guaranteed I will be there doing all that I can.  All they need do is ask - the vast majority of the time they needn't even go that far.

For some reason, in reverse, this doesn't quite work out.  I always feel like I'm going to be a burden.  That they have too much shit going on in their own lives to bother them with what's going on in mine.  My problems are minuscule and not worth bothering anyone with.  I never ask anyone to pick me up or drop me off - unless they offer.  I never ask for a shoulder to cry on.  I never ask for more than I've been offered.  And I never ask for help.

Vulnerability?  Just not in my vocabulary...

Until recently.

I've learned that if I never ask... I'll likely never get.

You may remember I recently even headed next door to ask if they had any Gravox.  Pushing the boundaries or what?!

Since that daring day, I've managed to make further progress in this field.  

 A few weeks back, after a few drops of rescue remedy and some deep breaths, I bit the bullet and asked a friend if she would drive me to the airport.  And she said 'Yes!  Of course!'.  Sure, I was super nervous - the anxiety was rife.  However, the outcome was definitely worth the sweaty palms, the increased heart rate and the knot in my throat (note; they were short lived - after I'd asked, I felt such relief!).  Not only did I confront a fear, I no longer had to spend 2 hours on a bus and a further 2 hours in the airport just because I was scared to ask for help.

Then... a couple of weekends ago Micko and I had a lovely morning at Bellingen markets.  I ordered a delish organic falafel and noticed the guy was quite stingy on the taboleh... so I asked if I could please have some more.  He said, 'Yes!  Of course!'.  No weird look.  He wasn't angry with me for asking.  He smiled and said 'Say when...'  Relief!  Micko (and I) was suitably impressed.

Last weekend when I arrived in Hobart I was so disappointed with my scary hotel room - it was cold with no heating and one blanket (hello! I'm not Tasmanian... I need more than one thin blanket when the temp doesn't hit double figures).  The room had a really scary vibe and was directly above the cover band - cranking out old tired hits with drunk people singing along at the top of their lungs - to one side was the smokers courtyard and the other a busy road... Oh and did I mention it was shit scary?  I couldn't bring myself to turn the light off and every time I almost nodded off I felt something touch my neck.  GAH!

The old me, would have stuck it out and gone home after 3 nights of no sleep with bleeding eyeballs.  The new me, stuck out the night (it was after midnight when I arrived) got up early to look into other accommodation, found somewhere much better, packed my shit and explained to reception that it just was not suitable.  And they could have cared less - I hadn't offended them, or hurt their feelings - and there was no angry confrontation.  Ahhhhh!  The relief!

Through vulnerability we gain strength.

These may seem like small things... but to me (and my post depression/major anxiety self) these represent a massive shift.

 Each small step equals big change.

Bleeding eyeballs be gone.

I'm now walking the talk...

... and kicking Anxiety's arse to the curb!