No coincidence... just a talented bro.

This is no coincidence...

 Although perhaps it will be for one of you out there reading this? 

You never know your luck in a big universe... or a big city... say, for instance, Melbourne. 

Speaking of all things Melbourne... My bro, Grant, is quite the talented artist... He certainly is one of those admirable and charismatic folks following their personal legend.

Tonight, he has a new show, 'THIS IS WOVEN PIPER: PAINTINGS FOR THE FUNNEL', opening at Anna Pappas Gallery in Prahan.  Exhibition open through to May 7.

If in the area, do drop in and check out his AMAZING work. 

Now I'm feeling the creative urge... might have to crank out the acrylics myself.

Howard the Duck's guide to enlightenment...

Last weekend Micko and I drove up to Coffs to do some shopping.  We stopped for lunch at a club and on a plasma next to our table 'Harry and the Hendersons' DVD was playing.  Neither Micko or I had seen the movie in over 20 years... We got to talking about other movies we remembered from our childhood.  First to spring to mind was 'Howard the Duck'.

You could be easily forgiven for thinking this is Macauley Culkin in a duck costume - the acting ability is of similar standing.

Yesterday, after a full day of swimming, gardening, walking the dog and cleaning, we plonked our arses on the couch to see what was on the box.  What do you know?  Howard the Duck is on... and it's the opening credits.  Coincidence?  

I'd told Micko that Howard was a rude, deviant and terribly horny duck... and that it was probably not really appropriate viewing for a 10 year old - not my folks fault (we watched it in the annex of a friends caravan at Bonnie Doon -  I know, I know... How's the fucking serenity).  Watching it all these years later, he actually wasn't that much of a deviant, he wasn't rude, or particularly horny...  it was, however, a TERRIBLY awful film!  If you haven't seen it, I probably wouldn't bother wasting 90 minutes of your life.

The real question here is did Howard have a message for me... besides a reminder to never watch this film again?

((I'm about to give you a blow by blow description of the storyline.  Be thankful I'm saving you an hour and half of your life - go use it to follow your dreams.  Although the following lacks the incredible (exaggeration) special effects and bad acting, the storyline is much more succinct (and that might say a lot!).))

Well... the basis of the film is an evolved duck arrives here by chance after an explosion at a science lab transports him from his planet to a dark alley in Cleveland.  He meets 'Beverley', a singer in a band who believes they are headed for big things... but are stuck playing dingy pubs for no money due to a dodgy manager they can't escape.

After saving Beverley from muggers and her dodgy manager, she takes Howard home and they get to know each other a little better.  Howard mentions that he has recently given up his 'pipe dream' and taken a 'real job' as an advertising copywriter.... It's not at all fulfilling, but he's been told by everyone around him 'it's time to grow up, Howard'.   

Howard then says... 'Sometimes I still get the feeling there's some kind of special destiny waiting for me'... To which Beverley replies, 'Howard!  That's it!  Maybe that's why you're here?  I believe there are no accidents in the universe.  Maybe you are here for a greater purpose.  Some kind of cosmic cause.'

(My ears prick up!  Maybe this is the answer.. maybe it will point me in the direction of my 'personal legend', my purpose.)

That cause?  Well, durh!  To save Planet Earth from the Dark Lords of the Universe.   

Man!  I hope all of life here on earth isn't completely reliant on me defeating an evil Jeffrey Jones (with a bad make up job and a worse perspiration problem) on a ride on laser.  

Or perhaps, it's some kind of metaphor (thank you Media Arts University Degree - I knew Film Theory would come in handy one of these days).  Perhaps these Dark Lords are actually part of every one of us... maybe they represent self doubt... or speed bumps on our road to self discovery... checking if our resolution, self belief and will is strong enough to pass the tests the universe throws our way.

At one point in the film, everything seems waged against his success... not only is the Dark Lord after him, so too are the Cops and, to make things even more unsurmountable, it's duck hunting season.  It seems good old Howard can't catch a break... if all this wasn't bad enough, he is in a small aircraft with one of the 'good scientists' (Tim Robbins) - but due to his 'evolution' he can no longer fly.

Tim yells to Howard, 'Fly, Howard!  Follow your instincts... Trust your birdness!  Fly!' 

He saves the planet by not only flying, but by sacrificing being able to return to his own... He starts a new life, with Beverley, and ends up (although being on a completely different planet) being exactly where he wants to be... doing exactly what he wanted to do.

So... the moral of the story?

Well... I'm sure that will present itself fully in the future... but right here, right now?

*If you don't have your own wings... perhaps you can make some (a metaphor; don't focus on what you lack... but what you possess).

*Don't let others decide when you should 'grow up and get a real job'.

*Crimping your hair, was always, and will always be a drastic waste of time.

*Pipe dreams are there to be followed - as too are instincts.

*Detours don't necessarily deviate you from your path forever... you are always where you need to be.

*Perhaps my 10 year old self had some good idea's about what she wanted to be... but she had shithouse taste in movies!

Till next time... 

Always trust in your birdness!

I'm a realllll dickhead.

I'm still in a relative state of shock... and after much internal debate about life, death and everything inbetween, I've come to the conclusion that if and when my time is up, I'd like to have lived my life as Jonno did.  Without regrets... and with a huge set of balls (I mean that figuratively as I'd never actually seen his balls - he'd get a laugh outta that... we once joked about trading his fabulous website design skills for 'sexual favours').

Today... I searched through the garage and found some of my old school journals - I'm yet to go through them properly... although I did come accross something that was quite clearly titled 'When I Grow Up'.  Could you be more obvious universe?

 In a brief summary it said 'I want to be a dancer, but I lack confidence and believe that people with think I'm a dickhead, so I'll just think about it for now' (note; I have paraphrased - I didn't use such words as 'dickhead' back then - well, I did but outside of my parents ear shot).

On that note, and on the theme of 'looking like a dickhead', a similar theme popped up yesterday.  I had quite a vivid dream that one my brother's exe's was calling me on my mobile (an absolutely gorgeous girl... the type you envy - stunning on the outside and just as gorgeous on the inside).  It was so real that I actually got up to check if I'd had a missed call on my phone.  As I'm following up on my 'coinkydinks' I decided to let her know - quite random as we've not had a lot of contact in the many years since she and my bro broke up.

She told me that she had been in the area and had even stopped in town for the night, but couldn't find accommodation.  She thought about facebooking me, but decided against it because she'd thought it would have seemed 'weird stalker' like.  Of course, I'd never have thought that... I would have LOVED her to stop by.  We could have set up the spare room and drank cocktails on the deck till dawn (well, maybe around 11.30 cause that's kind of my limit these days).

So, what was the message?

Don't be hindered by what other people may think, perhaps?

I do this kind of thing ALL. THE. TIME!  What opportunities am I missing and what great people are passing me by because I'm scared of putting myself out there?

I've lived most of my life not doing things because I've been worried about not being good at it... because I'd look like a try hard... because I didn't want to be a burden on people...

Basically, I've lived life trying to avoid other people coming to the conclusion that I'm a real dickhead.

Whose belief is that?  Theirs?  Or mine?  (hypothetical - don't answer that one)

Now, don't get me wrong... I'm a character all of my own.  Some say I'm a little 'out there', and I'd agree to a certain extent - hell, not everyone admits to taking a bog on the beach. 

But with every passing year, I've gotten more and more precious... and more and more concern with others thoughts - and not my own.

So I'm doing something about it...

Stay tuned for tomorrow...

When I make a right dickhead of myself!

A stark reminder...

Life sure is fleeting... There is no better reminder than a super talented young dude, with his entire fabulous life ahead of him... gone... suddenly!

An old employee of mine, Jonno, was one of those special people who were following their personal legend.  He was living life without limits... so much so it was contagious.  Travelling the world, indulging in his outstanding talents, absolutely loving life and living it to within it's last breath.  

 Unfortunately, for this world, he took his last breath today.

A very stark reminder that we are here for an indiscriminate amount of time... any breath could very well be our last. 

I'm so glad to have shared the same path as he - albeit briefly.  He was someone you aspire to be like... 

I wish I'd taken the opportunity to tell him how inspirational he truly was.  

But... life is fleeting.

I won't make the same mistake again.

Rest In Peace - Jonno Howell.  

Loved your work... quite literally!

Childhood dreams

Another coinkydink that has come to my awareness over this past week or so...

Everything I come across  - books, websites, film, TV, people I'm running into - are all indicating that as a child we know what we are here for.  

I've always believed this... My folks were really good at encouraging us to be what we wanted to be.  That if we wanted something badly enough, and were willing to take risks and work hard to get it, it could - without a shadow of a doubt - be ours.

My brothers are both exactly where they are meant to be.  They are following their childhood dreams.  My youngest bro was always obsessed with reptiles... My folks encouraged his interest and, as a result, we had a number of lizards living with us.  The other bro was handed a gift... He is an AMAZING artist and he has always feed his gift.  This month he is on the front cover of the Art Guide, has a show coming up in Melbourne and is self publishing a book.  Inspirational!  Both of them!  

Me?  Well, I can't really remember what I was going to be.  So, I spoke to my folks about it.  They, like me, remember that I wanted to be lots of things.  I wanted to be a famous dancer, have a dance school, be a famous singer.  I wanted to change the world - I'd stand in the front yard, lay my toys out on a table and sell them to raise money for the Children's Hospital... or pick Nanna's lemons and sell them door to door.  I wanted to be a children's author.  I wanted to be a star on Young Talent Time.  I wanted to be a teacher.  I wanted to be a photographer.  I wanted to work on radio.  I wanted to make music.  

I guess, I wanted to entertain.  I'd always said that my bro, D, was the intellect... G was the artist... and I?  Well, I was the communicator.  

I know, in some boxes in the garage, I have a bunch of old journals from my childhood.  So, I'm going to go through have a read and get back in touch with my inner child. 

But that will have to wait until I transform myself back into a child - I'm getting a fringe cut!  After much debate, and many years, I finally decided to bite the bullet - for fucks sake, girl, it's just hair!
No doubt I'll look much like my 5 year old self!

I know!  I know!  I haven't aged a day... (bwahahaha)

Even back then I was a creative little spark.

Will let you know what reveals itself!

P.S... If you are here... head on over here (Karlosophies facebook page).

Personal Legend

I'm still buzzing with anticipation... lots of idea's are running through my brain.  I know, with a sense of internal certainly, that big things are on the horizon.  There is change in camp Karls and it's just around the corner.

I'm a big believer in coincidence - or synchronicity - although life has been so crazy the past couple of years I've not really been looking, or listening for these clues.  

Recently, something shifted and I'm back in the game.  The astrologist, the psychic, the chance meeting of someone who steered me in the direction of Kate Forster (the author of the fabulous Spiritual Business), the same Kate Forster coming to speak at Coffs BWN, picking up a couple of books that 'spoke' to me and all of them centring around intuition, coincidence and destiny, being told by numerous sources that 'if you head in the direction of your destiny, the whole universe conspires to give you a leg up'... All clues that I'm heading in the right direction - although still not quite sure of the destination.  Only time will tell.  If it's in my destiny, I'm now in the right place to find it.

Ye ol' blog has been a little neglected of late... and for a number of reasons - I've lacked the inspiration to put words to screen... I've not really felt I've had anything 'blogworthy' happen and even if I have, I've lacked the motivation to sit here and share... Perhaps I've even thought life has become a little boring and mundane (certainly not anything anyone would be interested in reading - I mean, seriously, who wants to read about Saturday nights in and reading in bed at 8.30pm).  

What I have realised this morning, is that I'm not here to blog for anyone else's sake... I'm not here to blog for comments, or followers (a word I'm not a big fan of, I must say).  I'm here to be me... and to share my experience in the hope that part of it might speak to someone on the same path as I.

So, this blog is undergoing a costume change.  I've decided it's going to be a journal of travels, incidents and coincidences throughout the pursuit of my personal legend....  

and you'll be the first to know when I work out exactly what that is!

Stay tuned enlightened souls!

The stars align...

Do you ever have that sense of an impending... something? 

A slight anxiousness, nervousness, sense of anticipation... like something big is lying just around the corner?

Well, welcome to my world!

I've felt this kind of unexplainable pull over the past few months... like a building, bubbling excitement just beneath the surface.  You know that feeling you get when you are organising a big holiday, a move or a new job?  Kind of like that... without any of those things on my agenda. 

It's just a gravitational pull... towards, well, I don't really know!

I guess that's why I went to see the psychic... and this morning I went to see my astrologist.

The frustrating thing is that they both tell me there is some really good stuff about to happen... especially creatively (which is where I'm feeling this pull) but can't give me anymore details than that.  They've even narrowed down the date to where I will be struck down by this inspiration - the 24th April.  Other than that, I'm on my own... damn it!

Patience is a virtue... unfortunately not a virtue I possess much in the way of!

Change is in the air... and it's so thick I can physically feel it. I'm currently in the 10th house of anticipation... with nervous excitement in the North node and a little frustration passing through Myanus.

Just got to keep reminding myself... It's in the stars! 

 No one can get in the way of your destiny... except, of course, yourself.

Date with a pyschic

Right now... in this very moment... I'm content.  I feel together emotionally, spiritually and phsyically. The dark days are over and just a memory.  Today I feel that my journey over the past year has made me stronger - strange concept that vulnerabilty should lead to strength (but it inevitably does).

I've got a lot of good shit coming to me at the moment - perhaps because I'm back to believing I'm worthy of it.  In a week I'll be sunning myself in Thailand with Micko, my little bro and his wonderful wife.  Before which, I'll be at the wedding of one of my favourite peeps... spending time with my best friend in the world (who is roughly 6 months pregnant), her little sis with her brand new little bubba Jack and some other equally rad people that you always (even in the depths of depression when you are convinced no-one could even contemplate liking you) feel comfortable with ('home' friends).

I've been treating myself with massages and facials, had a bowen session and I spent a delicious 3 hours in a day spa - complete with full body exfolliate and mud scrub with one of my newest (and very rad) girlfriends.  Heaven! 

Another treat was Friday's trip to see a pyschic... A strange experience...  Which I will quickly share with you.

As I approached the door, I could see someone sitting with their back to me on a recliner, then a voice spoke out...

"Karly, welcome... Come in."

Bit bizarre... like something out of a movie really.  What was to follow was very strange - and a little bit funny. 

She was a little disorganised, looked not at all what I thought she'd look like, spoke of herself quite a bit, answered her mobile and chatted halfway through the reading... but she had lots of good things to say - so I wasn't about to say 'hey lady, you're on the clock'.

Apparently, I will live on the coast around here... on a big beautiful property.  An older style house, which we will build a new extention on the back of (oblong in shape).  It will have a waterhole or running water on it and the house will feature stained glass windows.  We will settle there.

There is a change in the air, work wise (which I have also been told by my astrologist and another psychic - supposed to happen around April)... I will take 2 trips to the States - the first time I won't find who I am looking for, the second will be a much more successful trip and business will start booming.  I'm also going to be big in London.  This will all start happening in the next 3-6 month and will continue for the next 3 years.

I'll have a boy... very artistic. Followed within 2 years by a girl - straight laced, good swimmer and will meet and marry someone from money.   No real hurry on the kids front - I won't go through menopause until I'm around 57.   Haha!

We will make friends with people who work hard for a couple of months, then take off on holidays together - as a business expense.  I'll also do lots of travel back and forth for work.

Basically... I'm going to have a very blessed life, be happy in my marriage, in my work (which she said I will work very, very hard at) and in general.  Sounds good right?

I know, listening to what a psychic said is almost as interesting as hearing about how someones dream panned out last night.  That is, until the things they've said start coming true - then you're like;

'Damn girl, give me her number!'

But, will it come true? That is the million dollar question. It would be nice...
I will say that she was spot on about some other things that have happened - she described this fuckwit (along with his bitch of a sidekick) down to a tee.  So, it's certainly not out of the question.

One last note;

All you clairvoyants, psychics and mediums out there...

Take the plunge and join the 21st century. 

Cassette is no longer King!

Purge to splurge

I believe the world is your mirror... and if that is truly the case, your home is a manifestation of where you are at.  If there is chaos in the home, that chaos reflects in everything you do - your mind, your work, your relationships.

I've been messy (and down right dirty) in my past... and it was totally a reflection of my head space.  The worst periods have been when I've had little respect for myself, let alone my surroundings.  The other side of the coin is having your place like a display home (that says something entirely different about you - the need for perfection can be almost as destructive).  Like everything in life, it's all about balance.

These days, I'm clean, a little messy at times... but I think I'm getting the balance almost right. 

So, where was I going with all this?  Oh yeah... that's right, my wardrobe and drawers.

Sometimes a purge is totally necessary.  I've always been a bit of a hoarder... not like 'Hi, I'm Karly and I'm a hoarder', but I do find it hard to let things go. 

I have clothes that I was wearing in 1996 because they have memories attached, or I remember feeling great in them.  I have letters from girlfriends from Year 7, tickets from concerts, old costume jewellery my Aunty gave me, dolls with one eye and missing hands...

I guess without really realising it, I've been a bit of a hoarder emotionally too.  While I've forgiven, I seem to have hung onto their beliefs. I'm only just figuring out which serve me... and which certainly do not.

So, I'm going to hang onto that doll (called Matthew - yes, it's a girl) because it was a big part of my childhood, the letters will also stay... and the clothes?  Well, that's how I've spent my morning. 

It's time to let go of the past and move on (metaphorically and physically).  I've kept a few pieces - like the Mooks top which was my first present ever from Micko and the pants I wore on our first ever date.  The rest is off to goodwill - or in the garbage (where it definitely belongs - like those period undies I've had for 10 years, or the bra with the broken strap).

It's amazing how good you feel after a big purge... it's like a weight of the shoulders (or your wardrobe hanger).  Things feel more organised, less cluttered.  Bedroom, mind and soul.

I'm making room in my closet, and my life, for bigger and better things.  And they are coming... because, finally, I am ready!

Karls and the giant basilstalk...

One of my rad friends, Graphical, had a slight obsession with a basil plant I kept while living in Vic.  Every time she'd come round she'd point out how fabulous, healthy and huge it was.  We'd done nothing special with it - in fact, the dirt we planted it in was mostly ash from out fireplace.  I was supposed to pass it on to her when I moved... oops my bad - I think we just chucked it in the garden to die.

Anyways... we use herbs (especially basil) quite a bit and have a little balcony planting space - where we've attempted to grow regular basil, thai basil, coriander, mint, lemongrass and oregano.  Nothing was really happening - a little disappointing considering my previous 'basil success'.

Then, Micko (who recently started a new job working in hardware) came home with some sample packs of this fertiliser. 

I mixed up a batch and poured it over the basil... 

Two days passed, we headed off to Sydney for the night...

and from virtually empty stalks....

Magic happened!

Now, I was pretty blown away by this - to show the size, I've used a large can of Aeroguard.

A few weeks later, and this is the progress (I've not used the fertiliser since)...

Same Aeroguard can!  And... I've pulled almost every leaf off twice - made a batch of pesto and some other heavy on the basil dishes.

It's just incredible!

Perhaps I missed my calling as a bit of a green thumb.