Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Taking Control

Yo bitches!  As you know, I've been a little higgedy piggedy lately.  You may remember I started seeing a psychologist for some issues and I really feel like I am making some progress of late.

I think a bit of my anxiety and depression has been caused by my isolation and I figured it was time to take charge and do something about it.  Joining the local Wildlife Rescue organisation was the first step and it's working out great.  I've been on the phones a few times now and I must say the first time was really fucking nerve wrecking.  I'm not sure what I was afraid of... it was that intense anxious feeling you get when you're about to embark on a new job venture - when you're not really confident in your ability and feel like you're completely out of your depth.   

Of course, I wasn't... after the first 24 hour shift, I realised that it's not at all as scary as I'd originally built it up to be.  There's nothing like throwing yourself in the deep end!

So, one the wing of one success... I decided once again to bite the bullet and chuck myself outside of my comfort zone.  I booked into one of the local business women networking groups and tomorrow, a little too early for my liking, I'm heading to my first 'meet and greet'.  

Once again, the nerves are high... but to hell with it!  I'm giving it a crack!   If all goes well, I'm considering trying to start something a little more locally.   

I'm going to leave you with a bunch of words that once passed the lips of one Nelson Mandela (originally written by Marianne Williamson)

it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

I feel I must mention I'm am by no means a religious person (spiritual, yes... religious, no).  It actually feels a little strange to have the word God on my blog, considering I'm not a believer.  This verse, however, works for me.

Wish me luck!  I'm going out and grabbing life by the balls.


kate said...

much luck to you! and by the way, i know i said kudos a few posts ago when you told us you'd taken action against how yuo were feeling but i just want to emphasise how awesome i think it is. you were feeling low so you did something about it. seems simple but here i am sans psychologist even though i decided to see one about a year ago now. naughty.

jprp said...

Karls, you are so damn rad, i'm heaps proud of you! glad things are looking up, it must be the amazing company you keep ;) can't wait to here how you go tomorrow

and yeah, the "god" stuff did stick out a bit, but they are all beautiful words

keep up the good work xx

jprp said...

and what Kate said...

Kellyansapansa said...

Good on you for taking control! Oh, and surviving your first phone shift! Good luck at the meet and greet - I have no doubt you will sail through that too. xx

Queen Belicious said...

You are now totally my mentor *da da daa daa da dut dut daaa* <-- Scrubs reference, I hope someone gets it.

all joking aside, good on you!! I know the feeling of anxiety and depression stopping you from doing what you want/need/don't wanna do but have to.

Good luck tomorrow. XOXO

Charis said...

Yay! Good for you! Have a marvelous time, can't wait to hear about it! (and I LOVE that poem!)

Anonymous said...

Love it, love you!
Have a good one,
Leanne O

bananas. said...

You go karls! I've never heard that quote but really spoke to me.

I think we all have taken comfort in the darkness, afraid to branch out into the light...but it is the light within us that gives us strength to seek more light.

Good luck to you lady! You're doing big things and i'm so proud of you.

Smart Ass Sara said...

don't just grab life by the balls- get really crazy and give life a blow job. ;)

Cathy said...

I'm not 'religious' either, but wow! those words are powerful!

Good for you for stepping out of your comfort zone. I know it's hard and scary, but that's usually all just in our head. Keep it up!

foxy said...

Grab away, friend... can't wait to see what you come up with!

And I have to say, good luck with the meet & greet - I'm terrified of those networking things.

Summer {Bisfor...} said...

way to take charge, darling. i expect nothing less from you. NOTHING.

oh and if you need me, i am here. around. in the states. far away but here. lol.

meredith said...

i am a believer, so i hope you don't mind that i've been praying loads for you! :) anxiety and depression are something i can totally relate to on a personal level. keep keepin' on, woman!!

Erin said...

Anxiety, depression, and my therapist are my BFFs. No strangers to me. Thank goodness for drugs. LOL!

Good for you by getting those balls! I'm proud of you--keep up the good work!

And I love this poem.

aladdinsane12 said...

i am certain that the meeting will be just fine! you'll probably meet some cool women!

and the poem is definitely inspiring.

sanjeet said...

i just want to emphasise how awesome
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