Friday, May 28, 2010

Remember to breathe

Yeah, yeah, yeah... it's been a long time between blogs.  I've been busy getting my shit together, so forgive me for my slackness.

Good news is... I've not had any further public shitting experiences - perhaps a skiddie or two in the comfort of my own home.

The good news continues too... as you know, at the moment I'm in therapy (mainly for anxiety and a few residual issues  - damn you Mum and Dad NB:  I kidd!  I kidd!)...  anypsychotherapy, I've been making some real ground and I feel like I'm finally returning to myself.  That is self righteous and all knowing. haha

Here is what I've discovered... The mind is like your spare room... full of useless fucking shit that you've held onto for years.  Mostly they serve no purpose today, although there are a few little gems in there - some you know, some you can't find and some that you didn't even know you had.  

What I'm doing at the moment is a mental spring clean... Going through the piles of crap, sorting out what I no longer have any use for (bad 90s cargo pants, a tshirt that's underarms are almost like cement, a useless belief - like you're not good enough), keeping the gold (a pair of flared jeans, some old CFM boots, work ethic or loyalty).  Then I'll sit in the room, take it all in and go on one hell of a shopping spree (picking up a leather jacket, a few scarves and some look in the mirror and be stoked with what's looking back).

These pieces of shit that hang around are generally things that helped you survive (a belief or a behavior that helped you cope with your circumstances) but we tend to hang onto these long after they are required.  Like a pair of pink and camo cargo pants, sometimes we can't bring ourselves to throw them out incase they miraculously come back into fashion.  If that is the case (hopefully it's more than 15 years away and I'm old enough and wise enough to know that I don't need 4 different styles), go buy yourself a new pair!  Seriously!  Hanging onto them is pointless - isn't it.  These behaviors become part of our internal dialogue and part of our personality.  

There is a shitload going on in my real life at the moment (all good) and my mind (working on being all good).  A busy girl must remember to breathe...  and that's what I'm working on at the moment - it's much more difficult that I'd ever imagined!

I'm off to walk my dog on the road to enlightenment!

Take care bitches!


Smart Ass Sara said...

I just want you to know that yesterday I had to shit so bad that I literally thought I was going to have a Karls moment. And it made me think of you. If that helps at all. ;)

~KS said...

Glad to hear there hasn't been any more public shitting ;)

I agree with you about the mind... a whole bunch of shit up there. Glad to hear you're working through things and feeling more like you again.

Keep at it!

meredith said...

i am SO glad you haven't publicly shat in your pants again.

the mere fact that you're taking care of your stuff means your wayyyy ahead of the rest of the world! keep keepin' on, karls!!


bananas. said...

sounds like therapy is working out. not that you're a nutcase or anything...but if you keep those pink cargos you just might be. HAHA! HA!! i'm funny.

Lee said...

I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only one who is losing their minds. Love you and I think maybe we were split up at birth, although I am much older, so I must have been the one shipped off, which would explain oh so much!

Christine Vi said...

I really like this post. You're right. There's a lot of useless crap that we hold onto, thinking that they will be useful later because they aren't useful now. You've inspired me to do some cleaning as well.

drollgirl said...

it is so good to do some cleaning house of the brain. i sure could stand to do some of that meself.

hang in there, do what you've gotta do, and i hope you have a nice weekend!

aladdinsane12 said...

that is a great description! it actually makes me want to clean out my brain a little, too. i think about things/regret things/resent things from periods long ago far more than i should. maybe i should be like you and just dump it!

sanjeet said...

I really like this post.
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Cathy said...

Are you sure I'm not going to need those pink and camo cargo pants?

Good for you for working through everything....mental spring cleaning sounds hard. Keep it up!

"Seattle" Heather said...

Missed you girl! Take care and enjoy your trip down the road of rainbows and sunshine. :)

jessalyn said...

good for you for taking care of you!! as you can tell by how late i am at commenting on this post, i have been a little m.i.a. too, but no where near as productive as you!

Kristin said...

My brain could use a spring cleaning too!

jprp said...

AWESOME post Karls, you should be so damn proud of yur self, theres a lot of wisdom in those words, I'm glad to see too that I havent missed out on too much while Ive been away!

just quietly too, youve inspired me, my first session will be on June 21st, and although i'm shit scared, its also kinda empowering too. Thanks Karls


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