Yeah, yeah, yeah... it's been a long time between blogs. I've been busy getting my shit together, so forgive me for my slackness.
Good news is... I've not had any further public shitting experiences - perhaps a skiddie or two in the comfort of my own home.
The good news continues too... as you know, at the moment I'm in therapy (mainly for anxiety and a few residual issues - damn you Mum and Dad NB: I kidd! I kidd!)... anypsychotherapy, I've been making some real ground and I feel like I'm finally returning to myself. That is self righteous and all knowing. haha
Here is what I've discovered... The mind is like your spare room... full of useless fucking shit that you've held onto for years. Mostly they serve no purpose today, although there are a few little gems in there - some you know, some you can't find and some that you didn't even know you had.
What I'm doing at the moment is a mental spring clean... Going through the piles of crap, sorting out what I no longer have any use for (bad 90s cargo pants, a tshirt that's underarms are almost like cement, a useless belief - like you're not good enough), keeping the gold (a pair of flared jeans, some old CFM boots, work ethic or loyalty). Then I'll sit in the room, take it all in and go on one hell of a shopping spree (picking up a leather jacket, a few scarves and some look in the mirror and be stoked with what's looking back).
These pieces of shit that hang around are generally things that helped you survive (a belief or a behavior that helped you cope with your circumstances) but we tend to hang onto these long after they are required. Like a pair of pink and camo cargo pants, sometimes we can't bring ourselves to throw them out incase they miraculously come back into fashion. If that is the case (hopefully it's more than 15 years away and I'm old enough and wise enough to know that I don't need 4 different styles), go buy yourself a new pair! Seriously! Hanging onto them is pointless - isn't it. These behaviors become part of our internal dialogue and part of our personality.
There is a shitload going on in my real life at the moment (all good) and my mind (working on being all good). A busy girl must remember to breathe... and that's what I'm working on at the moment - it's much more difficult that I'd ever imagined!
I'm off to walk my dog on the road to enlightenment!
Take care bitches!