I watched some of Ellen today (before you start with asking 'do you ever work', I'm still crook and can't do a lot of the stuff coming through right now) Anyway, Drew Barrymore was a guest and they were talking about bad hairstyles they've had... Namely, the very big fashion faux pas from the 80s - The Perm! Suddenly, I recalled my worst hair experience and I thought why keep it to myself... Share it around!
I was living in Byron and working for the below mentioned establishment. Due to lack of funds (radio pays shit - especially when you work with The Prick) I could no longer afford to go to my fabulous hair dresser in Byron. I needed to find someone cheaper! I rang around and in Lennox I found a salon who only charged $35 for a cut so I booked an appointment.
Prior to moving up to Byron I had my hair cut to just below the shoulders - quite a bold move for me! The last couple of times I'd had it cut, it wasn't quite the same. I explained to the man, I'd like it pretty much the same, but the layers could be a little shorter.
Away he went... My sister in law coincidentally came in for a haircut and we started chatting away madly. I checked my hair and although it is a little shorter than I'd wanted, it had this kind of Karen O look/feel (singer from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs) and I'm thinking it looks pretty good. I turn to the sis in law and keep chatting. The man continues chopping away but my back is to the mirror so I'm not too sure where he is at. Seems like he's been hacking away for some time now! Then, all of a sudden, he spins my chair around and says..."There! Now you have the perfect head for radio!"
Huh? The perfect head for???..... FUCK ME! I do have the perfect head for radio! The kind that should be heard but never seen! Somehow, he has managed to interpret my 'shorter layers but keep the length and the style' into 'give me a mullet'!
Here's the run down... 2cm short on the top, going a little bit longer the further you go down, quite thin towards the bottom and a lovely long bit at the back! If I had to liken it to someone you'd be familiar with, I'd say I looked like a mix between Carole Brady (if she'd just gotten out of bed and not yet reached for the Cedel Hair Spray), Bert Newton (for the roundness of my face) and perhaps Jason Donovan (when he was playing Scott in Neighbours). Lets just say it was a great new look, especially for the mid 00's!
The worst part of the whole thing was that I just didn't know how to respond. I was kind of in a state of shock... I also didn't want to hurt his feelings - never mind the fact he has left me with a complex about hair cuts! I even smiled and paid the fucking $35!
I jumped in my car, thought perhaps its not that bad and took a look in the rear view mirror... Oh no! It's not that bad... its fucking way worse that bad! I rang Micko as tears started streaming down my face.
'Whats wrong Karls? Are you okay? Whats happened?'
'I look like a boy in the 80s! Micko, I look sooo shit... I don't know what to do!'
'Come home Karls... It will be fine! It's probably just a shock. I'm sure its not that bad!'
I arrived home to find Micko and my house mate out the front waiting for me. I get out of the car with my eyes all blotchy from crying all the way home - well pretty much - Each time I stopped crying I'd go back for another look and once I'd caught a glimpse of myself I'd start bawling again! So, I get out of the car and the 2 of them just piss themselves laughing - not just a giggle but rolling around on the ground pissing themselves laughing! Man! Was I dirty! I ran up to my room and stayed there for about 2 days crying constantly. Then, I figured I was being fucking ridiculous and it was only hair... I began to put things into perspective.
For the following 6 months I wore a green hippy headband I picked up from the market and wore the long straggly back parts in piggy tails. I was determined that not a single sole would ever see the female mullet (which I affectionately referred to on radio as 'The Frullet). Plus, The Prick was real happy about the new look - 'fucking dirty hippy'.
The moral of the story? Buyer beware!!!! You get what you pay for!
the hard questions
2 years ago