I have really bad luck when I order food (particularly a lunch) from ANYWHERE! There is around an 80% chance that what I get will..
a. be nothing like it's description on the menu
b. taste like shit... or be completely tasteless
It's just the way it is... I've come to accept that 8 times out of 10 I will be disappointed. I've come to accept it, but I'm not happy about it.
Now, it's not because I'm fussy... I'm really not! Hell, I'm a shitarse cook (if ever there was one) so my general standard is if it's worse than I could make myself (meaning not fit for human consumption) it's crapola.
Recently I've had two bad experiences (2 out of 2 lunches - 100%).
Firstly, a couple of weeks ago, the rad Micko surprise weekend to be specific, we headed to the Surf Club for lunch. It wasn't cheap... I ordered the Seared Tuna (around $26). Let it be known that I am a Tuna (well seafood) freak! I can't get enough of the stuff... no idea how I will deal with limited seafood (and no shellfish - argggggh) if we ever decide to have sex get up the duff!
It came out grey... cooked so much that it was dryer than a Nuns nasty. It tasted like chalk. No pink middle... disgusto! I looked at Micko, disappointment was clearly showing. For the first time EVER I complained. I told them that I wanted it rare, beautiful and a pinky red in the middle, definitely not grey. They took it away, cooked a fresh piece and bought it back. It was still not even close to rare... but I ate it sulkily.
This Saturday - another perfect example... We did a spot of shopping and went to one of the pubs in Coffs for a meal. Micko ordered the steak. And I? Well, I looked at the board and ordered the Beef Massaman Curry - surely they can't fuck up something as simple as a curry... right?
WRONG! It was so NOT a Massaman Beef Curry... more like an Irish Stew! (Not sure if everyone knows what an Irish Stew is... so I'll elaborate - it's beef, carrots, potato and other veg in a thick gravy type sauce... real wintery dish... not even remotely close to the flavour of a curry!!!)
I almost cried... as I usually do when I'm dished up a shitty meal. I've actually cried on a few occassions. A couple that spring to mind:
1. Salad and SPAM (not ham) roll (ewwwww)
2. A SALAD roll... came out with more egg on it than anything else - I fought with the bitch at the corner shop who insisted egg was salad. Ummmm. Egg. is. not. a./ fucking. vegetable! If I wanted an egg and salad roll, I'd have asked for a fucking egg and salad roll... deep breaths Karls, deep breaths (you can see that particular incident really struck a nerve!)
2. Oysters Kilpatrick (gorgeous fresh oysters, topped with about a kilo of bacon, with tomato sauce squeezed heavily on top - heavily like drowning in tomato sauce). Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!
There is nothing worse than a disappointing meal... especially when you've paid good money for it. The good news is... it's only lunches! Not dinners!
I'm thinking weekend lunch dates are now of the agenda... unless they are at Hungry Jacks!