Monday, February 15, 2010

The losing side...


This weekend, the pre-season competition of my favourite sport (Aussie Rules, or AFL) started.  Saturday night, the team I've lived and breathed my entire life started their season with a devasting loss.  I've talked about my Tiges before... here.

If you've been hanging round these here parts for sometime, you'd be aware I lost my Nanna to liver cancer back in November.  If not, you can get to know her a little better here.  And discover what a blow it was to me, here and here.

Anyways... like I was saying before my team was embarrassingly defeated.  I couldn't watch the game... not just because we played dismally, but because I kept imagining my Nan (a massive Tigers supporter) sitting on her dusty musk pink couch, next to her partly completed crossword puzzle, blackberry wine in one hand, sneaky cigarette in the other, yelling profanities at the telly.  It tore at my heart strings so much, I had to chuck on a DVD.

I was also very glad we lost - of course, I would have liked us to put up some kind of a fight, rather than sucumb to defeat so easily.  The thought of our first win of the season (if we even do win a game this season) is bittersweet.  At the end of each game, I'd (and a few of my cousins and her friends) half pissed, give her a quick phone call.  She'd answer singing our club theme song (Oh were from Tigerland) and laughing happily - thanks in part to the blackberry wine.  Sometimes, if I were with my brother, we'd give her a prank call - Dale once pretended he was a Policeman calling in regards to a noise complaint.

The simple act of watching my footy team makes the fact that she's gone very real.  The emotion that lies dormant slowly bubbles to the surface.  I miss the warmth of her hugs... her laughter (which I can still hear in my mind)... her little taunts... her sense of humour.... her yo-yo's, mudcake and jelly slice.  

Every now and then I get a waft of her perfume and I have to believe that it's her... floating around (checking that my arse is not rapidly expanding) and reminding me she'll be forever by my side - for all of life's wins and losses.  

See she was well aware that a win is made all the more sweet when you know what loss is.  And ain't that the truth!

20 comments:

Monique-aka-Surferwife23 said...

Awww, that was a nice post for Nanna.

So, you follow lots of my blog friends and they follow you and I was promptly scolded by two of them for not knowing or folowing you.

Here I am. Let's throw a party.

jprp said...

aww Karls, that was really sweet, Sorry your nan isn't "there" to share the wins with you, but like you said, she's never really far. And I'm tipping she'd be real proud of who youve become - it seems your a lot like her, your sense of humor and all :) xx

jessalyn said...

i was one of the surferwifes scolders. but i am glad she has joined the karls party.

that was a nice post- reminded me of my grandparents, and how much i miss them. i am always so thankful to have the nice memories, and it sounds like you have quite a few of those to hold close to your heart!

Sharnanigans said...

That is a lovely post Karls. I can imagine what that would be like. I am sure she is right there with you in spirit. I don't believe that ever dies. xx

The Boob Nazi said...

I hate losing. That's why I don't follow professional sports. haha
Also, I'm glad you feel like your Nan is still there. Those things always make me feel better.

"Seattle" Heather said...

Ahhh Hugs girl.

Cathy said...

What a sweet sweet post in honor of your Nan. I'm sure she's watching over you(probably yelling at you for not watching the game). {hugs}

Brown Girl said...

Such a sweet post for you Nan! I'm sure she's watching over you.

Tracie said...

That was a lovely post for your Nan. My grandmother has been gone for almost 10 years and I still think about her every day.

Kellyansapansa said...

What a lovely post.

My fiance is a Tigers fan too, but my team won. Yay!

We have a bet this season. Whoever's team finishes the season highest on the ladder gets to have anything they want. Anything.

He wants a threesome. I want a Louis Vuitton bag. Go Port!

Alicia said...

what a sweet post karls...i bet your nan is smiling down on you now... sending you big hugs! have a great week :)

Denise said...

Sweet post!
Stopping by from SITS to say Hi to mt SITSer!

Christine Vi said...

That was a sweet post. It's really bittersweet, remembering your nan. I feel the same with my grandparents. Their favorite song was "Right Here Waiting" by Richard Marx and it always puts me in a odd mood. And the scent of their perfume and cologne. I'm sure your nan is very proud of you!

HeatherLynn said...

it is so the truth!

If you're smelling her....I believe she's there. You always hear stories like that...when people smell a loved one...after they've gone!

where ever your nanna is, she's likely proud of the woman you are, because you are obviously the best kind of woman, the kind that respects love, honors love lost....and remembers the women who she descends from......and treasures memories made.

If you were my granddaughter, I'd Be proud of ya!....and I'd love you no matter HOW big your arse got! ;)

just sayin!

~hl~

Debbie said...

What a sweet post! I love a post full of affection and memories.

bananas. said...

moments like these are just the beginning...a important woman like your nan will forever be a part of your life...through memories, scents, shared interests, etc.

sorry your team lost :(

Alicia (The Red Deer) said...

So sorry for your loss :(

Acting Balanced Mom said...

Stopping by from SITS - I'm so sorry for your loss, but what fab memories of your Nan... and I really hope that your Tigers improve with time this season, so that as your grief lessens the pride can take over!

The Blonde Duck said...

Popped in from SITS! What a touching post.

tickledpinktwice said...

What a great post for your Nanna?

Isn't it weird how smells really trigger a memory for someone you've lost. I can't smell Old Spice without thinking of my grandpa, and he passed over 7 years ago. Thanks for sharing.

Stopping by from SITS.

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