Tuesday, February 9, 2010

I feel dirty

Last night, I went to my usual cardio boxing class.  This time, I was partnered with a tall guy, around my age.  He seemed nice enough... usually he is partnered with his wife but she was away on business.  We started... no problem.  He packed a hard punch... but hell, so do I. 

All good.... until this....


Oh yeah!  Perspiration pouring out and with every punch droplets of sweat would spray all over me...  Ummmmm FUCKING GROSS!  

It went all over my t-shirt (looked like I'd lay down while massive rain drops fell) and even got on my face a few times.  I was trying my hardest not to gag!  His sweat was a little stinky too... and he was suffering from halitosis... so I was really, really desperately holding back my gagging. 

When I got home, I walked in the door and headed straight for the shower.  I seriously washed myself thoroughly about 5 times before I got out... even then I could still smell sweat and bad breath every now and then (think it was in the mind, cause there was no chance a single drop of sweat could have survived my rigorous cleaning regime!)  

SIDETRACK......

It reminded me of a bizarre night I had in Bangkok.  We met this British dude who said he'd take us to the best sex bar around.  It was such an uncomfortable place... the girls kept coming up and rubbing our shoulders.  Oh and it stunk... wrong, wrong smell!  

Then, not a word of a lie, Mick Jagger walked in with his entourage.  We were the only other people in the bar.  We tried to approach him but were quickly met with agro looks from his bodyguards. 

Just then, Angie started to blare out of the speakers while a motorbike descended from the roof onto the bar with 2 young men having sex on the back of it.  It was too much for Mick...
 and a little too much for us!  
When we got back to our hotel room., I showered thoroughly, but I still couldn't get rid of the smell of sex.  

Ewwwwwww!  

Just thinking about it makes me need another shower!

Bye bye now!

25 comments:

The Boob Nazi said...

A sex bar? Hmm... Yeah, that'd be too much for me too!

jprp said...

funniest post ever!

♥Aubrey said...

Ummm GROSS!!! The thought of another persons sweat being splattered on me makes me want to puke. I too would have showered about 10 times. Then hopped right back in if i still smelled it. Lol

And that bar...WHAT THE FRUIT?!!!

Kellyansapansa said...

The sex bar sounds like fun (to watch), but being splattered with someone else's sweat? Eeewwwww!

Christine Vi said...

Whoa! That's insane. I'm the same way - I can't stand the sweat smell. Sometimes I'd break out in a mild case of hives b/c of the humidity caused by other people smelling. Eww

kate said...

that is gross. there was an instructor at my old gym whose sweat would go flying into his class. he was a pretty good instructor but i couldn't bare to take the risk.

a 'performer' put his c*ck in my face (and i mean in my face - there was contact) at a sex show in amsterdam. i can laugh now but was disgusted at the time. tried to take the 'when in amsterdam...' approach but was too busy gagging.

Masala Chica said...

Karls,

I am not usually shocked but that would freak the shit out of me. Seriously. I have seen some crazy shit in my days but that bangkok (no pun intended) bar sounds way out of my league . . .
Kiran

Cathy said...

Interesting how a cardio boxing class can bring you back to a Bangkok sex bar. I think if I ever make it to Bangkok I need to find Mick Jagger and try to come out with a story half this good!

bananas. said...

SICK!!!

i couldn't have hanged...i would've been out the door the second his sweat hit my face. not cool man...and to add halitosis? uhhh i just vomited.

but that sex bar story was a hoot. please tell me you have pictures!

Sharnanigans said...

How cool - Mick Jagger was there. Photos?? (ignoring the sweat & sex thing too grossed out!)

"Seattle" Heather said...

Okay was I the only one who had the song "One Night in Bangkok" going threw my mind as I read that post? Anyone?

Alicia said...

UGHHHHHH! dude i was gagging at the first story, but MAN the second story was INTENSE!!! that's seriously craaaazy stuff right there!!

...Mrs.P! said...

That is sooooo Gross! I need a shower just reading that! Ugh!

Tracie said...

You ran into Mick Jagger at a sex bar in Bangkok and you're just now blogging about it? What other escapades are you holding back on?

HeatherLynn said...

So let me get this straight, you just told a story about sweat, mick Jagger, AND motorbike riding dudes effing each other?

Talk about one heck of a story!

I may need a shower myself! ;)

xoxoxo
~hl~

aladdinsane12 said...

what?!?!? that story cannot be true! it's like something out of a (bad) movie! absolute craziness.

and if that guy was sweating all over me, i would have "accidentally" missed the punching bag or whatever and punched him in the face!

foxy said...

Wow. That story actually made ME feel like I need a shower. Which means it scores crazily high in the dirty category.

Seriously, I can't wait to hear what other stories you've got up your sleeve. And I'm wondering how you'll ever top that one.

Amy said...

Holy effing Shit Karls!! You have the most amazing stories I've ever heard.

Not kick boxing boy. That's just vile.

But Bangkok, and Mick Jagger, and the young homosexuals on the motor bike??? Wow! I want to be you!

LiLu said...

"It reminded me of a bizarre night I had in Bangkok."

Hahahahahahahahaha

Sorry. 26 and I still can't here "Bangkok" without giggling.

♥ Katinka said...

Stopping by from SITS and wishing you a great Tuesday!!! :))

Big Boops said...

New follow, LOVE it!

Jenni said...

GAH! Gross. When I used to do Bikram yoga I would hear the sweat drip onto the mat of whoever was next to me and just that alone made me want to gag.

You, my dear, are a trooper.

Summer {Bisfor...} said...

bad breath and stinky breath? i would have passed out. i would have excused myself saying i needed to vomit.

sex bar? wow. that is a new one. on the back of a bike? wow.

RN Mama said...

Holy shit, that's gross!

On Mondays I bring my 4 year old's lunch, and she eats it at the gym after I'm done working out. One day last fall a guy sat down with his kids at our table. I could tell he was sweaty, but I was trying not to look. I couldn't help myself though, and at one point I looked over and he literally had sweat dripping into the snack he brought for his kids! OMG! He saw me look at him and then said, "I just got done playing basketball." So what! Take a shower buddy!

HeatherLynn said...

"Seattle" Heather ~ yes, same here! you weren't a lone in that! lol

~hl~

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