In my younger days, I was pretty hardcore - or stupid, but I like hardcore better. If you miss the first confession of my youthful stupidity, check this out.
Anyways... this brings me to Stupid Shit - Part II
Once upon a time... there was a drunken train wreck of a girl. She often found herself in ridiculous, and often dangerous, situations.
The scene of one such story is set in the Sports Bar at the Croydon Hotel (a quality establishment in the outer 'burbs of Melbourne). She is around 18 years old... you bet your sweet arse she is decked out in the ugliest clothes you've ever seen... without a lick of make up on. Her and a friend had been drinking heavily and decided to walk home (which was fucking AGES away so no idea why she would think that was cool - probably drank her way through her taxi money).
Mangina (her girlfriend - not her real name, although those who know Karls in real life will know this hairy spadgered girl - she likely has less hair downstairs than Karls 70s porn bush these days) and Karls met this guy at the pub and were walking down the dark streets on the long trek home. They were cheerful and happy... until...
A car pulled up... a couple of dudes got out, ran towards the 3 of them and starting kicking the shit out of their male walking companion. He scampered away like a scared little boy. Leaving Karls and Mangina to their fate. They stood there like a couple of 'roo's in the headlights. These psychopathic lunatics turned their frustration onto the girls - punching and kicking Mangina before running off into the darkness (still not sure how Karls remained relatively unscathed).
A few seconds later, a girl runs towards these two helpless drunken souls. She asks, 'Are you girls orright?' and extends her hand to pick them up off the footpath. Karls and Mangina decide to walk back to the pub and make a complaint to the Police (who generally set up residency each and every Friday night at this quality establishment). The good samaritan helps the forlorn girlies walk back a couple of hundred metres.
And that is when the unthinkable happens. Good samaritan goes straight for Mangina's hand, rips out her wallet, runs down the street and jumps in the car with the psychotic lunatics!
Shedding a few tears, shaky and instantly sober as an ox, the pair make it across the highway to the Cops... who take down their complaint but inform them that there is very little chance anything will be done about it. Karls and Mangina borrow $20 for the cab ride home.
Now, this should have been the last stupid stunt this pair pulled... of course, it wasn't. Many more near misses were to happen throughout their friendship (which continues to today - minus a couple of rough patches)... Some made for hilarious stories which they will often share after a couple of beers, others were so horrific they were never spoken of again.
Rest assured.. Karls and Mangina have learnt many lessons throughout their friendship... thankfully, they are both still here to tell the tale!