I thought I'd dedicate Fridays to the people in my life that make it so extremely rad.
Today... is dedicated to my other favourite ranga - Fe
Here is a small selection of pics of our times together - most of them are from donkeys years ago, but good for a laugh all the same!
Oh we had the moves... the 80s and early 90s are our specialty!
Bali... the only holiday destination for Fe!
Ummmm... The story of my life really - being a dickhead while other people look gorgeous!
Fe... the storyteller! Loves a good yarn!
Further evidence - just incase you didn't believe me before!
Obviously belting out a classic!
Bogans on the balcony... have I mentioned I have a sparkler photo problem?
Me, Fe and my bro from another ho, Dirk.
Now... without further delay... Let me introduce you to the KP-24 effect!
Fe and I went to school together, but we didn't really cement a friendship until after school. Soon after, we became inseperable (much to her husband - my brother from another mother - Dirk's disappointment). Most nights of the week, I could be found at her place... except Thursday nights - when we'd be feeding our shopping addictions with quality time at Knox... and the weekends - which we'd be out and about feeding our other addiction (karaoke).
Fe has had a tough time of late and I really wish I could be there (in person) for her...but last night, after a week of playing phone tag, we finally got to catch up. She mentioned one of her all time fav memories of us... A night we will forever call 'The KP-24 Incident'!
Fe is a Primary School teacher and as such, on occassion (rare occassions), contracts nits (headlice) from her little friends. On this particular occassion, I was staying with her while Dirk was away for work. We ran down to the Pharmacy, picked up some KP-24 (the most popular head lice treatment here) and I got to work on ridding her of the nasty infestation. Now, Fe has super long luscious locks and it took FOREVER to comb out the dead lice and eggs, but after a few hours we were both satisfied that it was a job well done. We washed all the bedding, her clothes and anything else that she might have had contact with and we hit the sack - we always slept together in her massive king sized bed.
The next morning, I got up and drove into Melbourne for work. About halfway through the day, I started to get itchy... a few hours later and my navy blue work vest was white with... you guessed it, lice! Embarrased I went to the tell the manager I needed to go home - asap!
On the way home, I swung past another pharmacy and picked up 2 more packs of the dreaded KP-24... this time, we were getting rid of these fucking lice FOR GOOD! Fe did my hair... then I did hers. Once again, we washed and scrubbed and ridded ourselves of these lice for the last time. Hours and hours later, after a few brewskies, we decided to doll ourselves up and head into Melbourne for a well deserved night out.
Mercury Lounge was the destination (oh yeah, nothing but the best Crown Casino action for us - does that place still exist?) and the strangest thing happened... Men starting throwing themselves at us! I should mention that this is not a regular occurance for me. They were offering to buy us drinks, trying to strike up converstations left, right and centre and at one point we were dancing inside the circle that surrounded us of good looking men! Totally weird. We had a few too many drinks and then decided to drive home (would never, ever, ever do that now and I'm still not sure why we decided to do it then - very unlike both of us).
Fe is a bit of a maniac driver and a bit of speed demon... We were headed down Maroondah Hwy through Ringwood (a 60 k zone) doing 90k's. Suddenly, out of nowhere, came a cop with sirens blaring and lights flashing. We pulled over and were so pissed we were actually very relaxed and laughing our tits off about it!
The cop saunters towards us, Fe winds down the window and with a big smile on her face while battering her long eyelashes she says in a seductive voice...
"Did I do something wrong Officer?"
He smiles (and he's very cute) and says, "Well, you were doing over 90k's in a 60 zone"
She says, seductively, "Was I? Oh, I'm so sorry"
He replies, "Have you girls had anything to drink tonight"
Fe says, "Yeah, a couple... We've been out in town"
Then... he unbelivably says, "Well, I'll let you off this time. Off you go... and no speeding, alright?"
We wind up the window and look at each in sheer disbelief and say in unison, "What the fuck!!!", we then piss ourselves laughing and head back to the newly lice free domain... sit up for hours drinking more and chain smoking.
There are a few lessons in this story...
Firstly, don't drink and drive - EVER! Regardless of whether or not you get caught, or let off, there are much worse outcomes!
Secondly, if you want a good night out, loads of free drink, hot mens attention and a possible pick up (which neither of us did - Fe was married and I wasn't interested) get yourself a pack of KP-24, douse your hair in it and watch the effects!
That shit is like love potion, obviously containing pheromones that men find irresistible - at least thats the only feasible explanation to the happenings of that night... It's not happened before, and it's certainly never happened since! Forever to be known, to Fe and I, as the KP-24 effect.
Please note: there is no scientific evidence to support our theories, but there's no harm in giving it a go... right?