Monday, November 9, 2009

Memory Lane Monday - My first memory

What better way to kick off the first official 'Memory Lane Monday' than with my first every memory!
I'll set the scene..

As is evident from the above photo, during my Kindergarden year, I was a cute little bobbed hair 4 year old... Each day, we'd play dress ups, paint and run around in the playground - which had concrete tunnels that you'd paint with water and a couple of tyre swings - amongst other cool playground equipment. We'd stop for morning tea and lunch and I'd eat proudly from my Smurf bowl and mug set. Then in the afternoon, we'd have story time before a little nap.


On this particular storytime occassion, around halfway through I felt the need... the need to pee! I got myself up, skipped over the the toilets (miniture and with no doors on them), pulled down my dacks and stared at the birds playing in the sandpit.  I did the business... I then wiped myself properly (probably in the very wrong, but popular with children, back to front fashion). I pushed and slide myself off the toilet... I flushed... I walked out and back into the room where everyone was sitting, cross legged on the floor, entralled in Ms McClean's storytelling...

That is, of course, until one of the kids turns around to look at me, lets out a big laugh, followed by the entire class turning their heads to face me... then shitloads of pointing and laughing hysterically.

I glanced down to see what they were all pointing at... and suddenly was about as horrified, as a 4 year old can get, upon discovering the focus of their jaunts.  You see the one thing I failed to mention, through my detailed storytelling (mainly because it hadn't occured up until this point), was my pants. Yeah, you see they were still around my ankles. I was slowly pulling them up as I walked back to my spot on the floor.  The whole class were laughing at me flashing my 4 year old gash for free!  (No one needs to see a skin box in the classroom - unless you're watching a porno)

These days, they call me 'Pants Optional' for another reason...

By these days... I mean 2007

Monday's moral - Always wipe front to back and never in reverse - it's just not sanitary!  Plus, nobody likes a nasty infection!

Oh and for the record...no one likes an exhibitionist - unless their hot and over 18!


2 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Always wipe front to back...something my mom said out loud in every public bathroom of my childhood.

Funny post :)

Organic Meatbag said...

Hahahahaha!! Well nice to meet you, miss pee pants! I'm Mr. Farty ass!

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