Friday, December 11, 2009

Kryptonite to Superman...

Things that gross me out to the point of physical and uncontrollable gagging...

Snot - any form - dried, runny, green, yellow or clear - throat gobbies are included in this category.

Shitty nappies - I can't believe you are immuned to the stench of a shitty nappy... go change the little fucker!  I once had a lady come into my shop (when I was working in retail) to buy a camera.  Toddler on her hip and a stench that was like wading through a roaring torrent of human faeces.  
She seemed completely oblivious as I talked photographics with her.  After 20 minutes, of holding back a projectile vomit, I politely told her I thought her kid had shat itself, there was a public restroom across at the pub and in the interest of our clientele she should make haste to go and change that child (with the devil in it's arse).

Eye Gak - If you, or your children, are suffering from Conjunktivitis - or as I like to call it 'Congaktivitis'... stay the fuck away!

PDA's - you public pashers make me sick... get a room , even if it's the public restroom variety!

Queue Jumpers -   Look love!  I've been standing at the deli about 10 minutes longer than you (why do the tickets always run out when I'm next - bring back the old, dirty, germ infested plastic square numbers and fuck the disposable paper dispenser variety!) yet when asked 'Who's next?', you jump in waving your arms about 'Me!  Me!'... then you won't look me in the eye because you know very well you just pushed in you arsehole!  Hope you're foot gets run over in the carpark!

Litterers -  Micko and took BIlly down the V-wall for a dusk walk last night... there was only a backpacker in a van and a couple of other cars spread out.  Right in the middle of the car park someone had dumped their rubbish from KFC.  Obviously the lazy bastards had been eating it in the car, opened the door and dropped it out before taking off.  Dirty bastards!  The bin was not 10 metres away... and even if there wasn't one, for fucks sake take it with you!  You DISGUST me!  Just as much as ciggie butt flickers or those that smoke on the beach and bury their butts in the sand! 

Ahhhhhh!  That feels better!

7 comments:

Sharnanigans said...

I hear you sister. Well put

Elissa said...

Too funny! I totally agree and that picture is so wrong!

Adorably Distracted... said...

ewwwww snot. gross. And seriously the shit? My sister will try and hand my niece to me to change her when i'm around and politely hand her back. Umm hellloooo why would I change a diaper when you can change a diaper?!

Amy said...

Ok, that picture is both revolting and...eh, sexy at the same time, no?

Your poo-butt baby rant cracks (so not an intended pun, sorry) me up! I have a 1 yr old, and I swear I can smell that kid if he's just pondering a poop! Why would any parent parade their kid around with a filthy diaper??? Awful!

Renee said...

they are all things that gross me out too Karlz....if I were to make a list it would have been the same....although I would have added mushrooms- the smell, the taste, the texture....ewwww

Alicia (The Red Deer) said...

That pic is just a tad concerning :|

DesBisoux said...

don't get me wrong, i agree with everything in that and could probably add some more if i was so freaking disturbed by the picture!!!! what?? why???

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