Ahhhhh! The serenity!

Dave and Krabes just left, along with their 2 little angels... and with them went the noise.  It's back to me, Bill and peace and quiet.  No pitter patter of footsteps on the floorboards.  No high pitched little voice saying, 'Micko!  Micko!  Guess what?  Guess what?'.  No jumping, no watching Bill with the kids, no crashing of toys, no toddler yelling out as he desperately tries to join in on the conversation... nothing... just me and Bill and peace and quiet.

I can hear the birds in the rainforest... the breeze as it gently makes its way through the palms and gums... a car or two passing by.... the soft hum of the computer... the sound of Billy's tail as it swishes back and forth over the lino... and that's it - just me and Billy and peace and quiet. 

My universe returns to its usual serene state and all that remains of my noisy weekend is a couple of loads of washing, a tipper cup on the sink, and a cupcake with a face on it in the fridge (could make a tasty breakfast).... Oh and a very real reminder of why we still hold off on the kid quest.

Random hit

Yeah... so had an interesting experience on the beach today while walking Billy.  As I mentioned yesterday, there's been a big clean up on the beach after the floods.  Half a dozen council workers have been clearing the debris left on the beach. 

So, I'm walking young Billbo (as I do every day) and Billy notices the big tractor so he runs full pelt up to it - I really need to teach that crazy mutt some road sense.  A little off track, but he has this weird habit of sniffing the lines in the middle of the road as he crosses it (Micko jokes that he gets the line sniffing from us - ahhh but those days are gone now)... He also will run off down the beach sniffing the tyre tracks of any bike or 4wd thats left on the beach.  Andddd... thats how he spotted the tractor. 

Back to the story... I run up after him and he's saying hello (jumping up trying to lick the shit out of you) to one of the council workers. 

Me:  Sorry mate!  He gets a little excited!

Him:  No worries.  He looks pretty fit... (slightly sleazily) so do you.  I've seen you down here a bit.  You must exercise a lot?

Me:  very awkward giggle...  Yeah... well, if I don't he goes a bit mental.  Anyway...  See ya.

Okay.. So let me just say... Firstly, I don't get hit on - pretty much at all!  Secondly, I've not really ever been called 'fit' in these kinds of circumstances.  Thirdly, I would have found it flattering and quite a boost but the guy was as ugly as a hat full of arseholes and missing a few teeth to boot.

On my way back, I see the tractor coming up the beach, so I grab Billy and chuck him on the lead.  The tractor slows, pulls up and the dude jumps out for some more small talk. 

Him:  How far down the beach did you go?

Me: As far as I can go in half an hour then I turn around.

Him:  Cool...so where do you work? 

Me:  At home.

Him:   Nice... Well I guess I'll see you on Monday.

Me:  awkward... Yeah... guess so.

I fucking well hope not!  I'm not real good at giving people the bum steer... don't like to be rude.  Might have a possible beach stalker on my hands.  Perhaps we'll do the rain forest walks next week.

Friends Friday - the Krabies

As I've been living outside the blogosphere the last couple of Fridays, I've not had the chance to continue with 'Friends Friday'.  Today, I pick up my bat once more (cricket bat of course - the Aussies aren't doing half bad in the test - at this point anyway), and dedicate this Friday to Krabes.

I've mentioned the wonderful Krabes one or twice before... here and here  

Krabes came to the school during VCE (year 11 & 12) and started to hang out with us bushpigs (our groups nickname).  We had a few arty types (me, Burgo and Mands) and shared many a class with her, so it was only natural we'd try to get our hands of the new girl and convert her from classy to dirty scrubber in one fowl swoop.  It worked a treat and Krabes needed little convincing or converting.  She was ours... cue evil laugh.

Krabes moved to Byron a few years out of school and met Dave.  As I've also mentioned before it was via a visit for Splendour that I came to meet Micko - who was Dave's best mate.  When a mate of mine, Mands, and I decided to move up north Krabes was more than happy to take us under her wing and include us as members of her Byron 'family'.

Krabes is one of the most caring, genuine people I know... Always going out of her way to make sure you feel comfortable and happy... She has a real nuturing nature - soft, very earthy and absolutely lovely.  Also a stunning woman to look at - not that she thinks so.

She now has 2 delicious children - Monty and Harvey - and she is an inspirational mother... the kind that makes me think motherhood could be a good move - even for me.  She is relaxed with her children, but she doesn't take shit.  Always seems to be enjoying the experience (a rarity I've found).  She's also the bitch that looks fabulous pregnant, pops them out and miraculously returns to the hot body she had before in no time.

We've had plenty of good times together... and plenty of crazy times!  Many a night spent on her back deck, up until all hours, talking shit, laughing and drinking copius amounts of cider.  We've shared many a good gig at the Northern, stacks of music festivals, our weddings, a few Christmases and New Years (oh my god the New Years) and parties, parties, parties.  But we've also shared our hopes, our dreams, our concerns and our secrets. She is truly one of those friends who will be there through thick and thin for an eternity and I'm very blessed to have her in my life.

Tomorrow, Krabes and her tribe are coming to stay (was going to be tonight but they had an emergency down in Sydney) and I'm really looking forward to having a few ciders on the back deck, reading her little angels a bed time story then kicking back, with the four of us, listening to music and discussing religion, life, love and everything inbetween.   Her visit couldn't have come at a better time!

Oh and here are a few pics I took at their wedding... back in 2003 (I think?)

Down at Broken Head... Nice day for a peach wedding!

I used to love using 3200 speed film... loved the grainyness - this was a few years before I went digital.

Anyone need a tampon commercial still?

Ahhhh... Kisses for the Mrs.

What a smoking hot bitch!

New life...

Before you jump to conclusions from this blog title... NO!  I'm not harbouring a developing feotus.  I'm simply refering to the fact that life (and death) are a cycle and from death comes new life.  I'm still coming to terms with Nan not being around - only an hour ago I was in tears after listening to a posting on facebook of a song my Nan used to sing me as a child - You Are My Sunshine. It bought a tear to my eye when she was still around... I loved hearing her sing it.  I guess I'm still a little up and down (as to be expected) but I'm definitely getting through it.

I've just come back from a walk and a quick dip in the ocean... Gorgeous sunny day here today - high 20s, sun is shining, it's warm and humid... the northerly thats been blasting past here the last few days is a real kill joy though!  Down on the beach the council workers are clearing up the debris from the floods (when I say debris, I don't mean leaves and twigs - I mean trees, along with with leaves, twigs, branches - most of the animal carcuses have already been disposed of...thankfully!). 

It's a powerful reminder that life goes on.  Time stops for no man (or woman). One day, a disaster zone, the next a pristine beach once more.

While I was in Vic, I drove through one of the areas devasted by Black Saturday and was strangely comforted by the regeneration of the bushland.. an eerie sight though too!   

It was the day that Nan passed and seeing the cycle of life right in front of my eyes was a very timely reminder that death isn't always the end.

From the dead blackened stalks that stick out of the ground, new life emerges.

The wildlife slowly begins to return and eventually (eventually) the only scars that remain are those in our own minds.  Also helps puts things into perspective really... things can always be a lot worse than they are!

A summer wedding...

The initial reason I was visiting Victoria, was for this lovely couples wedding.  Lynette is my best friends little sis... and kind of like the little sister I never had.  She is one of the brightest, bubbliest personalities I've ever met... she radiates happiness and subsequently, finds herself surrounded by fabulous friends.  Phil is calm, attentive, quiet and loves a laugh - the perfect balance for Nesha's vivacious spirit.

The setting was her parents property in Mansfield.  The day was stinking hot - high 30's/low 40s!  The sun was definitely out - fierce and  uncompromising...  I was dressed in a black jumpsuit (shorts) and shooting away madly (not with a gun, but my old weapon of choice - the camera).  I've not shot a wedding (in fact, I've not shot anything at all) since one of girlfriends was married almost 3 years ago - so I'm a little rusty.

The ceremony was gorgeous and Lynette looked like a 1940s movie star - big fan of her fascinator!

It was such an awesome day -  although my make up ran off within the first 20 minutes of squatting on the river rocks-  extreme heat radiating from them - sweating profusely in my (stylish and practical - at this point) black jumpsuit.   Sweat poured out of every pore... it dripped down my face, my back, through the cavern I call a cleavage, between my sweaty arse crack canal and down my legs (at one point I thought I was actually going to pass out from dehydration),  I quickly recovered after a bottle of ice cold water and continued to have a ball - shooting and laughing - later dancing and drinking.

The jumpsuit was fantastic throughout the day - it enabled me to squat (without showing everyone what I had for breakfast), I didn't have to worry about adjusting myself each time I moved and it allowed me great flexibility when walking through paddocks and getting in and out of cars.   It only started to pose a problem after the first 6 beers...

You see, this is when a skirt or dress far outshines the practical (and stylish) jumpsuit!  Going to the toilet, can prove quite the task.  You basically have to completely undress in order to take a quick wizz - ahhhh too much effort!   And in true Karls style, by the wee hours of the morning, I made the dreaded mistake of 'too much piss makes an un-co miss'.  I undid the jumpsuit (for about the 40th time), pulled it down, sat down and started to wee.  There was just one thing missing... the pissssssssss sound (you know, the calming sound of wee wee as it gently makes it way along the porcelain to its final destination - the waterfall effect).  How could that be?  Well, instead of dropping the jumpsuit to my ankles, I'd accidently sat on it and wee'd through the shoulder/back section.  

Anyway... enough of my embarrassing bladder problems (could I tell you a story or two about incontinence)... Here are some pics of the lovely couple (please be kind - as I said before, I'm quite rusty)

Gorgeous Neshy!  What a little hottie!

  

The lovely couple sharing a kiss - Nesh said she felt a little 'pornoesque' pashing in front of us... Like me, not a big fan of PDA's!

What kind of shoot is complete without a touch of blue steel? And a little Reservoir Dogs action?

This photo pretty much sums them up completely!  They are truly delightful!

This last shot is actually my favourite - not sure why - I think I like the relaxed nature of it.

And now a toast to the happy couple... To love, laughter... and happily ever after!

Back in the Blogosphere

So I've been off the radar for a week or so now... Sadly, Nanna passed away on Friday the 13th - I felt a mixture of relief and happiness (strange, right?).  You see, when I last saw Nan in the flesh, I told her I'd see her in November - she said 'I hope so' and I said 'No, I will Nan'.  I'd thought perhaps she'd been holding on to prove that she could do it.  I didn't want her to be in pain anymore and the thought of her lying there - floating in and out of consciousness - was heartbreaking.  I was relieved and happy that she was no longer suffering... that she was free of her illness.

I was flying down to Melbs for my best mates sisters wedding (I was shooting it) and was due to fly back home on the Monday.  I extended my stay in Melbs to be at the funeral (Thursday).   It's been an emotional rollercoaster the past couple of weeks...  Happiness, relief, sadness and grief.  Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm coming or going... I've felt emotions filling me up to the brim, followed by numbness.

Overall I accept that she's gone and I'm happy she's no longer in pain.  I take great comfort in thinking of all the good times we had together - the love, happiness and mutual admiration we shared.  I'm very lucky to have had, not only a great relationship with her but, 32 fabulous years - and now a lifetime of great memories.  I will, and do, miss her terribly... but I feel her with me and I know she's somewhere out there, dancing to Tigerland with Granddad.

A quick series of coincedences reminded me she will never be far away:

She lived at 13 Elm St (yes... Nightmare on Elm St) - which was struck down by lightning in the mid-late 80s...

She passed on Friday the 13th - coincidently the very same day her (our) hero, Matthew Richardson (Richo, heart and soul of our precious Tiges) hung up his boots.

When we checked into our hotel room in Mansfield, we got room 13.

After a few pre-wedding beers with the wedding party, friends and family, Micko and I hung around to play pool with the boys.  Micko and I got bigs... and on the table there were 4 (yes 4 - instead of one) orange numbers 13's.

Micko and I looked at each other and laughed - we are sure she was letting us know she was there.

I did the eulogy on behalf of all the Grandkids and I can honestly say it was one of the hardest moments of my life to date.  I got through it, got a few laughs (Nan would want more laughing than crying) and enjoyed the rest of the day hanging with cousins in Nan's backyard - sitting back, drinking a few cold ones and sharing stories of happy days.

I honestly thought I'd have time to catch up with people, but I spent the time with Mum or working (oh yeah... my work is like a child - never leaves me alone but worth it regardless).  I did manage to catch up with some girlfriends at the wedding, my cousins at the funeral and my girlfriend, Fe on the Friday night before flying home - but that was it (sorry to all I missed).  I've also decided I'm allergic to Melbourne.  The second I got off the plane to the second I got back on, I had an itchy nose, sneezing and itchy all over - bloody hayfever!

So, I'm back home... trying to get back into the swing of things.  I've arrived home with a chest infection and a killer sore throat (fucking fabulous affliction when you're in my line of work) and consequently am feeling very bleh.  No gym yet (making me feel even more bleh) and I'm carrying around this feeling of nothingness.  I think I'm just in a bit of a funk right now... but I'll pull through and be feeling much better tomorrow - I guarantee it!  No one is perfect, least of all me... and thankfully these shitty days are very few and far between!  I've so much to be grateful for - great life, love my work, awesome friends, hellawicked family and super kick arse Micko and Billy - but sometimes (sometimes) I need to remind myself of that - this is one of those days.

I'll be back... bigger and brighter... tomorrow!  Or perhaps even this arvo - might have to post some wedding pics.

Nimms out!

Parting is such sweet sorrow...

Great photo of the wonderful Lily... bad, lazy eye shot of me!  But, hey... we both look blissfully happy - and we were!

I'm feeling a little blah today... It's my Mum (and my best mates birthday today) and my Nan is not in a good way.  They aren't sure how much longer she'll hold out... and her daughter (my Mum) celebrates her birthday keeping a bed side vigil.  You know, sometimes life ain't fair, there's no doubt about that.  On the upside, I'm so thankful I've had 32 good years with this wonderful woman... and she's shared her glorious and loud personality with this earth for over 83 years.  I'm also very glad I got to say goodbye on my last flying visit to Melbs.  If you haven't read about Nan - do so here.

The saddest thing about it is her quality of life at the end.  She lies in bed, sleeps and wakes momentarily to talk incoherently - mentioning my Granddad (which only strengthens the theory that there's not long to go).  And that is truly the saddest thing... She was so vibrant and full of life and you never expect someone like that to go down - the bigger they are, the harder they fall.

So, while I'm here wishing this wasn't happening, I'm also thinking (and this might sound horrible) I'll be glad when she is gone.  I love this incredible lady with all of my heart and it's heartbreaking to think of her in pain.  If I could have her here forever, fit and well, I'd do anything in my power to make it happen.  If I could rid her body of the cancer that's eating her alive, you know I would.    

But, in order to have life, you must have death - it's these extreme opposites we experience, throughout this thing we call life, that make us know we are alive.  To know happiness, you must know sadness... To recognise the light, you must experience the darkness.

Life and death brings a great deal of selfishness (an integral part of human nature).  For me, well I think its selfish to want to keep someone here for your own sake... and keeping my Nan alive for my own selfish reasons is unfair - unfair to her and unfair to me.  I believe my Nan deserves a dignified exit from this world.  That's all I want for her - to go out on her own terms... but that's not going to happen.  So, instead I hope that she finds peace, happiness and love (with my Granddad and others that have passed) on the other side.

Besides, I know she'll never be too far from me... You see, I've mentioned I don't believe in God before... but that does not mean I'm not spiritual - I am.  I often feel my Granddad's presence and I believe as long as they live on in your mind, their spirit lives within you.

I'm heading down to Melbourne on Thursday for a mates wedding and I'll be taking my work gear with me... better safe than sorry.  I'm guessing, unless some miarcle happens and my Nan recovers, I'll be bidding my sad farewells to her and her time on this planet. 

And with that comes a lot of sadness... but just that little bit of happiness...

Happiness to know she'll be free... happiness to know that I've loved her as much as I could... happiness that she leaves me with some very special memories... happiness that everytime I've seen her, we've shared stories and plentiful laughs... happiness that I've been there for her in the hard times and happinesss that she's been there for me in return...

Plus happiness that one day, we'll meet again - and on that occassion there will be no goodbyes.

Memory Lane Monday - My first memory

What better way to kick off the first official 'Memory Lane Monday' than with my first every memory!

I'll set the scene..

As is evident from the above photo, during my Kindergarden year, I was a cute little bobbed hair 4 year old... Each day, we'd play dress ups, paint and run around in the playground - which had concrete tunnels that you'd paint with water and a couple of tyre swings - amongst other cool playground equipment. We'd stop for morning tea and lunch and I'd eat proudly from my Smurf bowl and mug set. Then in the afternoon, we'd have story time before a little nap.

On this particular storytime occassion, around halfway through I felt the need... the need to pee! I got myself up, skipped over the the toilets (miniture and with no doors on them), pulled down my dacks and stared at the birds playing in the sandpit.  I did the business... I then wiped myself properly (probably in the very wrong, but popular with children, back to front fashion). I pushed and slide myself off the toilet... I flushed... I walked out and back into the room where everyone was sitting, cross legged on the floor, entralled in Ms McClean's storytelling...

That is, of course, until one of the kids turns around to look at me, lets out a big laugh, followed by the entire class turning their heads to face me... then shitloads of pointing and laughing hysterically.

I glanced down to see what they were all pointing at... and suddenly was about as horrified, as a 4 year old can get, upon discovering the focus of their jaunts.  You see the one thing I failed to mention, through my detailed storytelling (mainly because it hadn't occured up until this point), was my pants. Yeah, you see they were still around my ankles. I was slowly pulling them up as I walked back to my spot on the floor.  The whole class were laughing at me flashing my 4 year old gash for free!  (No one needs to see a skin box in the classroom - unless you're watching a porno)

These days, they call me 'Pants Optional' for another reason...

By these days... I mean 2007

Monday's moral - Always wipe front to back and never in reverse - it's just not sanitary!  Plus, nobody likes a nasty infection!

Oh and for the record...no one likes an exhibitionist - unless their hot and over 18!

Friends Friday = Fe

I thought I'd dedicate Fridays to the people in my life that make it so extremely rad.

Today... is dedicated to my other favourite ranga - Fe

Here is a small selection of pics of our times together - most of them are from donkeys years ago, but good for a laugh all the same!

Oh we had the moves... the 80s and early 90s are our specialty!

Bali... the only holiday destination for Fe!

Ummmm... The story of my life really - being a dickhead while other people look gorgeous!

Fe... the storyteller!  Loves a good yarn!

Further evidence - just incase you didn't believe me before!

Obviously belting out a classic!

Bogans on the balcony... have I mentioned I have a sparkler photo problem?

Me, Fe and my bro from another ho, Dirk.

Now... without further delay... Let me introduce you to the KP-24 effect!

Fe and I went to school together, but we didn't really cement a friendship until after school.  Soon after, we became inseperable (much to her husband - my brother from another mother - Dirk's disappointment).  Most nights of the week, I could be found at her place... except Thursday nights - when we'd be feeding our shopping addictions with quality time at Knox... and the weekends - which we'd be out and about feeding our other addiction (karaoke).

Fe has had a tough time of late and I really wish I could be there (in person) for her...but last night, after a week of playing phone tag, we finally got to catch up.  She mentioned one of her all time fav memories of us... A night we will forever call 'The KP-24 Incident'!

Fe is a Primary School teacher and as such, on occassion (rare occassions), contracts nits (headlice) from her little friends.  On this particular occassion, I was staying with her while Dirk was away for work.  We ran down to the Pharmacy, picked up some KP-24 (the most popular head lice treatment here) and I got to work on ridding her of the nasty infestation.  Now, Fe has super long luscious locks and it took FOREVER to comb out the dead lice and eggs, but after a few hours we were both satisfied that it was a job well done.  We washed all the bedding, her clothes and anything else that she might have had contact with and we hit the sack - we always slept together in her massive king sized bed.

The next morning, I got up and drove into Melbourne for work.  About halfway through the day, I started to get itchy... a few hours later and my navy blue work vest was white with... you guessed it, lice!  Embarrased I went to the tell the manager I needed to go home - asap! 

On the way home, I swung past another pharmacy and picked up 2 more packs of the dreaded KP-24... this time, we were getting rid of these fucking lice FOR GOOD!  Fe did my hair... then I did hers.  Once again, we washed and scrubbed and ridded ourselves of these lice for the last time.  Hours and hours later, after a few brewskies, we decided to doll ourselves up and head into Melbourne for a well deserved night out.

Mercury Lounge was the destination (oh yeah, nothing but the best Crown Casino action for us - does that place still exist?) and the strangest thing happened... Men starting throwing themselves at us!  I should mention that this is not a regular occurance for me.  They were offering to buy us drinks, trying to strike up converstations left, right and centre and at one point we were dancing inside the circle that surrounded us of good looking men!  Totally weird.  We had a few too many drinks and then decided to drive home (would never, ever, ever do that now and I'm still not sure why we decided to do it then - very unlike both of us).

Fe is a bit of a maniac driver and a bit of speed demon... We were headed down Maroondah Hwy through Ringwood (a 60 k zone) doing 90k's.  Suddenly, out of nowhere, came a cop with sirens blaring and lights flashing.  We pulled over and were so pissed we were actually very relaxed and laughing our tits off about it! 

The cop saunters towards us, Fe winds down the window and with a big smile on her face while battering her long eyelashes she says in a seductive voice...

"Did I do something wrong Officer?"

He smiles (and he's very cute) and says, "Well, you were doing over 90k's in a 60 zone"

She says, seductively, "Was I?  Oh, I'm so sorry"

He replies, "Have you girls had anything to drink tonight"

Fe says, "Yeah, a couple... We've been out in town"

Then... he unbelivably says, "Well, I'll let you off this time.  Off you go... and no speeding, alright?"

We wind up the window and look at each in sheer disbelief and say in unison, "What the fuck!!!", we then piss ourselves laughing and head back to the newly lice free domain... sit up for hours drinking more and chain smoking.

There are a few lessons in this story...

Firstly, don't drink and drive - EVER!  Regardless of whether or not you get caught, or let off, there are much worse outcomes!

Secondly, if you want a good night out, loads of free drink, hot mens attention and a possible pick up (which neither of us did - Fe was married and I wasn't interested) get yourself a pack of KP-24, douse your hair in it and watch the effects! 

That shit is like love potion, obviously containing pheromones that men find irresistible - at least thats the only feasible explanation to the happenings of that night... It's not happened before, and it's certainly never happened since!  Forever to be known, to Fe and I, as the KP-24 effect.

Please note:  there is no scientific evidence to support our theories, but there's no harm in giving it a go... right?

Bill Bailey

Couldn't help but share a few cute as pics of my furry baby...  Saturday arvo, after I'd consumed 2 bottles of champas watching the Spring Racing carnival, I got a little snap happy!

Billy and his first 'big boy' bone!

Everybody loves a front door dog (that wasn't meant to sound rude - but somehow did)

Ahhhhhh... This is why I love him so much!  Look at that lovely happy face! 

Look what Billbo found down the beach... which explains his sandy tears -  is it a finger?  is it a detachable penis?

Nah.. it's not really either - its something that came in the bone bag from the butcher...

hang. on. a. second!!!

Beef fest

Like I mentioned yesterday, it was Micko and my 3rd wedding anniversary yesterday.  To celebrate, we did something typically not considered a romantic dinner... but totally our style... We went to sSs Steak Barn! 

Had some peanuts (roasted in the shell - I'm not a bar peanut person AT ALL!!!) with a few beers for entree... Followed by beef, beef and more beef for the main. 

Micko got the shank... it's a killer -weighing in at 2.5kilos!  He ate every last mouth full and when we got home, he paid for it bigtime!  Couldn't sleep, couldn't get comfortable (I told him he needed a 'pregnancy pillow' but even that didn't help) - the words 'detox' eventually passed his lips - full on!

I had the steak and ribs on the sizzle plate - which burnt my mouth (no I didn't lick the plate - every time the food touched the plate it would heat up exponentially and I'd forgot, throwing it into my mouth and feeling the buuuurn!) but it was deliciouso!  Thankfully my bowel movements are more than regular, so I could  rid my body of the beef demon before I hit the sack - thus allowing me to get a decent nights sleep and not feel like I needed to pass a small truck through my anus! 

While we were devouring what felt like an entire cow... poor old Billy was left outside (with the light on and the shed open) in the dark - as the electrical storm started to roll in - brave little bambino.  So we bought him home a special treat - Micko's shank bone... Now you might get an idea as to why he was in so much food pain...

That entire thing was covered in beef... and I mean A SHITLOAD of beef!

Next year.. I think we'll do Seafood Fest!  Perhaps on a beach somewhere in Thailand...Think I'll buy my lovely husband a pack of laxo's as an anniversary present!

Fitalicious Fitaversary

Around this time of year, I celebrate another year of my quest to be fit (and kind of healthy).  This is the second fitaversary and I'm very proud that I've stuck with it.  Day in, day out, I'm at the gym toiling away to keep myself feeling and looking great (well, better than I used to anyway - don't what I'm talking about... well read this).

So what better what better way to celebrate than to totally embarrass myself with some tragic before photo's - a timely reminder that I am never going to back there... and not because of the way I looked (that wasn't too bad if you put it into perspective - not too mention I've had lots of practice at being able to disguise weight gain in clothes) but solely due to the way I felt.... Uncomfortable, unattractive and all round just flat out shitty.

Me and my best mate 'The Hough' at Oaks Day 2 years ago today - I had been working out at the gym for a couple of weeks at this point and felt really great that day.  I actually haven't looked at these pics in quite sometime and this person feels like a stranger to me.

This was my first outing in Melbs after the move back... catching up with a bunch of old school friends at Clarkey's (pictured) 30th.  Great night, but I did notice I was getting a few 'My God!  She has ballooned since school" looks.  Note:  This is not even 7 months after I got married.  I went from fab to flab in a matter of a few very short months!  Unfortumately, it took much, much longer to get off than it took to pile on!

These days... Not only am I more focused and less stressed, I look and feel a million times better!

What the fuck were the Leyland Bros thinking?  Ayres Rock (as it was called in those days) in the middle of fucking nowhere?  Guess I'd better 'Ask the Leyland Brothers' - old Aussies you'll get that - sing along.

Oh yeah... You know I got the moves... or am I just trying to back one out on the dancefloor?  Either way... get the fuck outta my way!

Crazy faced in Noosa... The one eyebrow raised, super excited look with short hair to boot.  Shame you can't see my pins and the raddest ever satin red high heels I was wearing.

So... Am I proud of myself and my fitalicious achievements?

Fucking Oath!   I'm no super model, but it's never been my ambition... I'm just doing the best I can with what I've been given.

Will I ever go back to miserable Karls?

Not if I can help it... (and if I can't help it, who can? - Nobody!)

If I've told you once, I've told you a million times... A little hard work and a lot of persistence does pay off!

Now... I need a shower something chronic!  You can probably smell me from there!   Love that sweat... until it starts to turn into grease!

Wedded Bliss

Today Micko and I celebrate 3 years since we exhanged vows.  We married on the banks of the Brunswick River, in the exact spot we wrote our vows, not 20 metres from our house.  It was a very relaxed ceremony and an awesome day... although things did not go exactly to plan.

The day before the wedding was glorious... I was running around like a mad woman in the Jeep Wrangler Micko had hired as a wedding present to me for the week.  I finally got home, exhausted and hit the sack.  I  stayed at home with him that night - I'm not one for tradition or superstition.

Around 5am that morning, the heavens opened up and it poured with rain.  Micko got up and hung a few tarps around to try and stop the rain coming in - we had the reception at home, underneath the old Queenslander with lived in.  It was relentless... pissed down all morning and we had to make some last minute changes to the day.

The plan had been to have the ceremony at Torakina (a bit of a park where the river meets the sea) where Micko had popped the question.  Instead, we decided to get every bus'd over to our place, while we waited for a break in the weather (crack out a Jenny Morris tune) and head down the river instead - which was very near our place.

By the time we actually got that break, I think I'd drunk a whole magnum of champas!  My dad came running in saying, 'it's time, lets go!'... Me and Dad jumped in the Jeep and high tailed it to the end of the street before anyone could see me - not sure I was that successful but eh.

Our ceremony went for around 6 minutes... short and sweet!  And contained the phrases:

"I love you more than one of our beer, beer, ciggy, ciggy nights"  - Micko

"I love you more than a late night, drunken toasted cheese and vegemite sanga" - Me

The reception was a rad party... I think we ended up hitting the sack around 4am - when the Cops came around to shut it down!  The following days (which were sunny, warm, glorious days - of course) were filled with barbies and beers and family and friends.  Then we flew off to our honeymoon (now that is a definitely a separate entry all together - unless I've already been there?)... and thankfully, the honeymoon still isn't over!

It's been 3 wonderful years of being married (and I think 6 or 7 as his partner in crime) to an even more wonderful, caring, generous and happy Micko -  He's one helluva man!

Here's a visual representation of that totally awesome, rad, kickarse day!

Me... My beautiful Mum and Dad

Me and my 2 kick arse brothers... Grant & Dale

The speedy 6 minute ceremony

Micko giving me a kiss and his very best zombie eyes.

The Vows

Friends and Family

More of them

A television pash - the fake but truly gross pash

I ain't going out like that....

You know what... I'd happily sign away my next life, the one following that and the one to follow that, if it meant spending more time with my boo-boo sunshine fanta pants!

Here's to the next 50 or so years Tiger - RAAAWWR!